LDS PERSONAL
FATTH CRISIS
“Don’t find fault.
: ee,
Find a remedy.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
at
a,
Many individuals contributed to this project and warrant appreciation.
An extended team of scholars and professionals donated countless hours
to developing content, reviewing, and providing valuable feedback.
‘The majority of the team is based in the U.S., but several members are
internationally based. Contributors hold advanced degrees in:
- American History
- Anthropology
- Brand Strategy
- Business Strategy
- Digital and Social Media
- Law
- Literature and Philosophy
- Literature and Religion
- Pathology
- Psychology
- Sociocultural Modeling
- Statistics
All team members love the Church and wish to see our members suffer
less as the result of Faith Crisis.
oe
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Overview 5
Research Summary 17
Faith Crisis Stages aD
‘The Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection 53
Faith Crisis Profiles 73
Summary & Potential Next Steps 121
PROJECT OBJECTIVE
‘The research team’s objective is to present data on LDS personal Faith
Crisis that assists Church leaders in:
1) Better understanding Faith Crisis catalysts and processes.
2) Determining the best course of action for retaining those members
currently in crisis, repairing damaged families, and mitigating the
negative implications of those who are leaving or have already left.
3) Considering how to best prevent Faith Crisis from negatively affecting
current and future generations.
FAITH CRISIS DEFINED
4) While it was not uncommon in our recent past for “left-leaning”
individuals to struggle in their faith over doctrinal issues such as blacks
and the priesthood or gays, our data suggests an increasingly number
of individuals and families from “the middle” are losing faith and
reducing or eliminating Church activity as a result of Faith Crisis.
A NEED FOR NEW METRICS
Faith Crisis is defined as a state of intense emotional and spiritual distress
resulting from the discovery of Church history facts that do not align with
the traditional LDS narrative. This distress results in members losing
faith in some or all foundational truth claims of the LDS Church and in
the Church itself.
REASONS TO FOCUS ON FAITH CRISIS
With the Church being such a sacred, integral part of our lives, openly
discussing Faith Crisis can be a heartbreaking task. However, a candid
and expeditious analysis of the challenge is essential because:
1) Our data show a significant number of Church leaders (who have
traditionally been stalwart, active, and highly committed) are leaving
the Church or lapsing into long-term inactivity, resulting in a void of
local leadership.
2) When long-time members go inactive as a result of Faith Crisis, a large
ripple effect is created within their families, wards, and stakes. This
ripple effect that causes others to lose faith may not be detected for
months or even years from the point of first exposure.
3) Not addressing the Faith Crisis issue will compound the challenge for
future leaders and future generations of members.
Overview | 6
‘Traditionally, the Church has measured loss-of-faith and disaffection
by tracking the number of resignation letters received at Church
headquarters. Unfortunately, this traditional measurement vastly under
represents the Faith Crisis challenge because:
- A large segment of those who have lost faith remain active or semi-active
in the Church (just under half of our Faith Crisis survey respondents
who had lost all faith continue to attend meetings). These active but
faithless members have no reason to submit resignation letters.
- The majority of those who completely disengage from the Church do
not submit resignation letters. Many view this as an unnecessary offense
to believing family members and friends. Some do not wish to invest
the time in the multi-step process. Some do not wish to recognize the
Church’s authority by submitting a resignation letter. And perhaps some
wish to “hedge their bets” by remaining on the Church rolls.
Measuring the severity of Faith Crisis by simply tracking numbers of
resignations creates a false impression there is no formidable challenge
and causes many to deny the severity of the issue. It will not serve us well
if we have “Faith Crisis deniers” in the same way we now have climate
change deniers.
Overview | 7
A NEED FOR DISRUPTIVE INNOVATION
Harvard Business School professor and active Church member, Clayton
Christensen, developed a business model identifying two main forms
of organizational innovation: sustainable and disruptive. Sustainable
innovation is the maintaining of the status quo that moves forward
existing businesses and markets (this form of innovation is embraced by
the mass majority of Fortune 500 companies.) In his critically-acclaimed
book The Innovator’s Dilemma, Brother Christensen describes how
well managed, well-run organizations can fail because they focus too
heavily on sustainable innovation and ignore what he coined “disruptive
innovation.”
Disruption is what happens when a new technology or innovation changes
the environment for an entire market. Well-run organizations, with long
histories of doing things “the way they’ve always been done,” can become
blinded and unable to effectively deal with disruption. Thus, disruption
can cause significant and even total failure of large, highly successful and
well-run organizations (e.g., Kodak and IBM) and even have a deleterious
impact on entire industries (e.g., print publishing). Companies that
embrace disruption and remain open to innovation (e.g., Apple and
Google) survive and thrive.
Although The Church is—in many defining ways—clearly differentiated
from a business, it also has numerous parallels to a large, well-run
corporation. While this provides the membership (and the world) many
needed benefits, it also results in a Church structure that is slow to change.
For the first time in our history, the Church can no longer control its own
message—and, therefore, its own narrative—to its membership. For a
religion focused so heavily on its history, the uncorrelated presentation
of Church history via the Internet and social media are proving to be a
“disruption” for today’s Church.
Considering the parallels the institutional Church has with a highly
structured and efficient business organization (which comes with
inherent resistance to change) combined with the disruption caused
by an uncorrelated history on the Internet and Social Media, our Faith
Crisis research team believes the long-term health and vitality of the
institutional Church are at risk. Immediate, bold, and innovative action is
needed to address the threat posed by Faith Crisis.
Overview | 8
PRIMARY FACTORS
DRIVING FATTH CRISIS
Understanding the disruptive technology that facilitates Faith Crisis
is valuable prior to analyzing this document’s specific Faith Crisis data.
Our research team identified four primary factors that drive Faith Crisis:
1) Unprecedented Access To Uncorrelated Information
2) Continual Access to Uncorrelated Information
3) Unprecedented Content Creation and Consumption
4) The Mormon Moment
Following a description of these factors, a Faith Crisis example is
provided to illustrate the speed and ease in which many of our members
are exposed to uncorrelated information that can trigger a Faith Crisis.
Overview | 9
UNPRECEDENTED ACCESS TO
UNCORRELATED INFORMATION
Google
My 10 year-old son asks his older sister to tell him the typical length of an
adult leopard gecko. Without hesitation, she enters the query into Google
and within seconds responds with the answer: 10.9” with a weight of up
to 65 grams.
‘The Internet democratizes information. ‘Today, literally no question
goes unanswered. Through the Internet, our members now have
access to uncorrelated Church historical data, details, and doctrine that
vary—and sometimes conflict—with our traditional LDS narrative. The
Internet presents this “uncorrelated” information from vastly different
perspectives (from apologetic to highly critical).
Overview | 10
CONTINUAL ACCESS TO
UNCORRELATED INFORMATION
Internet usage throughout the day prior to the smartphone
TT at
Internet usage throughout the day with the smartphone
A 2011 consumer-research study by Motorola illustrates the impact the
smartphone has had on how American consumers access information on
the Internet.
‘The top chart represents Internet usage prior to the smartphone—which
shows users accessing the Internet only periodically throughout the day
(e.g., at home in the morning, periodically throughout the day while at
work, and before retiring to bed in the evening).
‘The bottom chart illustrates how smartphone users access the Internet
continually throughout the day—giving them near instantaneous access
to information (e.g., checking the Internet while exercising, commuting
on public transportation, while eating meals, etc.). Illustrating the
magnitude of the smartphone, the Motorola research indicates 35 percent
of US smarphone users now interact with “non-voice apps” such as
Facebook prior to rising from bed each morning, which is a major shift in
human behavior from just a few years previously.
Combined with Google and other search engines, a significant segment of
our membership now has continual access to uncorrelated information.
Overview | 11
UNPRECEDENTED CONTENT
CREATION AND CONSUMPTION
QDOOOD BS
QGOOOVEe0O =
Social Media is defined as the use of web-based and mobile technologies
to turn communication into an interactive dialogue. Put more simply,
social media is “he distribution of content by people to people via the Internet.
‘The most recognized social media platforms include Facebook, YouTube,
and ‘Twitter; but social media also include blogs, user-generated
comments, and user-generated podcasts (audio recordings).
‘Through Church wards and stakes, our membership naturally has strong
built-in “offline” social networks. These often translate to strong online
social networks that digitally stitch our membership together. Our social
networks can be used for both positive and negative ends.
Online social networks have proven valuable for promoting the “I’m a
Mormon” branding campaign. Given that the average US LDS Facebook
user has 225 Facebook friends, with 10% of these members promoting an
I’m a Mormon video on their Facebook, it is estimated that 70% of the US
population eventually will be exposed to these positive messages.
Combining our LDS Social Networks with uncorrelated Faith Crisis-
related information enables disaffected members to seamlessly share
faith-eroding information with large portions of our unprepared
membership. The powerful influence of uncorrelated information via Social
Media cannot be understated—vst “Areatens the long-term success of the Church.
Overview | 12
THE MORMON MOMENT
L1G LENN.
some JANUARY 16, 9PM HB@
Never has the media both celebrated and scrutinized The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints as it has the past six years. While much of this
media attention has highlighted the very best aspects of Mormonism, it
has also perpetuated negative stereotypes, given a loud voice to critical
points-of-view, and frequently publicized information that conflicts with
our traditional LDS narrative. This “uncorrelated” information is often
arbitrarily presented to members who may be unaware of or ill-equipped to
deal with such new information.
As outlined in the following pages, unprecedented access to information
through Google and similar search engines, continual access to information
via mobile technology, and the unprecedented ability to create and
consume social content—combined with The Mormon Moment’s media
attention of uncorrelated topics—has proven traumatic—and in some cases
devastating—for a segment of our active membership.
Overview | 13
FAITH CRISIS
ILLUSTRATED
The following real-life anecdote illustrates the ease and speed in which
Faith Crisis information can be presented to our active membership:
Background
Adam (a pseudonym) was a young man in my New York City ward when
I was in the bishopric. Adam had a leader to youth ratio of 3 to 1 and
was, by all accounts, a solid young man with great leadership potential
within the Church. In mid 2011, Adam discovered through Facebook
the anti-Mormon web site, iamanexmormon.com. This antagonistic
web site mimics the “I’m a Mormon” campaign by presenting videos of
members telling their disaffection stories. A few weeks after discovering
this website, Adam lost all faith in the Church. Feeling betrayed from not
being told “the whole truth,” and wanting to share his pain with others,
he posted a link to an “I’m an Ex Mormon” video on his Facebook page
(see below screen capture).
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Comments
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"Hi, my name is Peter
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_ Mormon."
youtube.com
http://www.i-am-an
exmormon.com/
http://www.post
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http://www.exmo
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unconditional love.
Overview | 14
Exposure to Other Members
Within seconds, over 100 ward members—who are Facebook friends with
Adam—were potentially presented this video. Disappointingly, one of the
Young Women from our ward commented on Adam’s link and voiced her
support for the disaffected message. Many others presumably viewed the
video but did not comment.
Path to Additional Information
Each of Adam’s Facebook friends who had clicked on the video would
have been taken to the “I am an Ex Mormon” web site, where they
would have been presented with a wide range of disaffection stories
that are reinforced by thousands of user comments. This site, in
and of itself, is extremely faith eroding. But if members clicked on
the “Mormon Think” tab on the right-hand sidebar of the “I’m an Ex
Mormon” homepage, they would be taken to mormonthink.com, which is
considered by many to be the most faith eroding website on the Internet.
Lam an Ex Mormen | A new weakly video serias
es
FEATURED STORIES
v
-#%
Pm a filmmaker.”
Recommended Links
MORMON SEXUAL REPRESSION
BB MonMoNonG
Mormon’
MORMON EXPRESSION
T
Over the course of a few seconds, dozens of Adam’s active LDS
ea0
MormonThink.com: An objective look at Mormons / Mormonism / the LDS Church
[| + at http imormonthink.com/
MormonThi
MormonThink
Mormonthink.com is a site produced by members of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are interested in the
historical accuracy of our church and how itis being taught to its
members and portrayed in the media.
‘There is a lot of misinformation on the LDS church that is.
presented by both critics and defenders of the faith - particularly
‘on the Internet. We present both sides fairly and let the reader
decide. Who are we’
Gordon B. Hinckioy:
"Well, we have nothing to hide. Our history is an open book. They
may find what they are looking for, but the fact is the history of
the church is ciear and open and leads to faith and strength and
virtues.”
~Dee. 25, 2005 interview with The Associated Press
What's New?
LDS apologist and critic debate the Book of Mormon - 9/12/11
GEE ¢ | (0- coosie
Print GYRSS G poncewe 20
Famed LDS apologist Rodney Meldrum is debating prominent critic Richard Packham on the question of whether
‘or not the Book of Mormon is historical fact or inspired fiction.
Rodney Meldrum, who hes made @ name for himself by touring the country giving lectures on how the B
‘Mormon took place in North America, supports the traditional view, that has
‘mombors, that tho BOM took piaco primarily in North Amoxica,
Research and Mormonism (FRM). Rodney's website,
100K of
‘been supported by the church and most
inoy is prosident of the Foundation for Indigenous
‘Mapping Book of
IMormon Historicity
Facebook friends were presumably presented with anti-Mormon
messaging. As presented in the following sections, these faith-eroding
messages have proven effectual in destroying the faith of many of our
best, brightest, and most spiritual members.
Overview |
SURVEY
OVERVIEW
IMPETUS & RESEARCH TEAM
When working with large, multi-national corporations, it is not
uncommon to have $1 million+ research budget for obtaining statistically
significant data designed to inform and guide the organization’s brand
strategy. Without such a research budget, our team recruited a group of
Ivy League volunteers trained in statistics, sociocultural modeling, and
anthropology. This initial “data collection” team was later supplemented
by an unpaid group of faithful LDS scholars, educators, and professionals
who helped refine the group’s strategic recommendations.
SURVEY SIZE
‘This Faith Crisis ethnographic survey consists of 3,086 responses.
All respondents believed at one time the LDS Church was “true” but
most no longer believe this to be the case.
SURVEY METHODOLOGY
Survey respondents consisted of self-selected participants who were
recruited via social media over the course of two weeks in October
2011. ‘Total respondents = 3,388, 302 of whom were removed due to
incomplete data. Given the lack of budget, the survey sample was not
randomly selected. The study does not claim to be predictive in nature
or of statistical significance. That said, the data collected are considered
a robust ethnographic study of the Faith Crisis cohort and many points
of this analysis are indicative of the experiences of many people in the
Church who pass through a crisis of faith.
For a future study—to scientifically establish a correlation between
Church history and disaffection—our team would like to locate a random
sample of Saints and then monitor their reading habits and Church
activity over a sustained period. But even without this more extensive
research, we believe this ethnographic study provides an undeniable link
between issues related to Church history and loss-of-belief.
Research Summary \ 19
DEMOGRAPHICS
AGES SEX
>60 Teens
50's 5% 2%
4o's
18%
30's
39%
MARITAL LOCATION
STATUS Europe
A%
Canada Other
3% 3%
Latin Ametica
0%
Single et
0) a
so" 31%
ieee Non Utah USA
7 60%
Research Summary \ 20
Female
42%
EDUCATION INCOME
Some HS
0% HS grad > $200K $0 - $20K
Doctorate / 3% 7% 10%
10%
Some college
27% $20K - $40K
14%
80K - $100K $40K - $60K
14% 17%
College grad $60K - $80K
39% 17%
General
- Younger members from the survey over index as struggling with Faith
Crisis—with Gen X and Millennials comprising 84% of respondents.
- The sample skews slightly more male than female.
Education
- Faith Crisis respondents tend to be more educated than average.
- Despite Faith Crisis skewing to the highly educated, members with lower-
levels of education are also affected by Faith Crisis.
- Based on education levels, we can assume many of the members losing faith
are members of means and experience.
Income
- The income data suggest Faith Crisis is moving through all income strata
(including those on the lower end of the income range).
- 43% earn more than $80,000 per year (significantly higher than average).
- Nearly 30% earn six figures or above (significantly higher than average).
- When factoring median income for these Faith Crisis respondents, the Church
incurs an estimated tithing-revenue loss of $281 Million over ten years (at $2.5
million per chapel, that represents a theoretical loss of 112 chapels).
Research Summary | 21
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
Annually
6%
Quarterly
6%
Monthly
5%
Every Other Week
9
6%
After losing faith, just under half of the disbelieving members continue to
attend Church—with 20% continuing to attend weekly.
coe eceer eee eee eee eee eee eee ee eee eee eee eeee eee e eee eee see eeeeeeee
Do Not Attend
56%
MAJORITY OF INACTIVE RESPONDENTS
WERE LIFELONG OR LONG-TIME MEMBERS
(Median Years Active Median Years Inactive
0 12.5 25
TEENS ed
TWENTIES
THIRTIES
FIFTIES
| |
SIXTIES
Research Summary | 22
OF THOSE WHO LEFT THE CHURCH,
MOST HAD DONE SO RECENTLY
Social Media + Mobile Smartphones
Broadband Internet
The Internet |
72-75 76-79 80-83 84-87 88-91 92-95 96-99 00-03 04-07 08-11
Years that member left Church activity
- 71% of those who lost faith did so within the last 8 years.
- Loss-of-faith correlates with mainstream Internet access, broadband,
and social media and mobile Internet adoption.
- Note: While anecdotal evidence suggests a recent dramatic rise in
disaffection, this data is not necessarily evidence of that rising trend as
other factors (i.e. lower desire over time to stay involved / respond to a
survey) may contribute to self-selection bias.
Research Summary \ 23
1,000
750
500
250
CALLINGS HELD: MEN
# %
Served in at least one calling 1,563 87%
Missionary 1,306 73%
Elder's Quorum Presidency and/or High Priest Leader 928 52%
Young Men's Presidency 680 38%
Ward Mission Leader 388 22%
Bishopric 356 20%
Temple Worker 204 11%
Stake calling (Aux. Presidency, High Council, Stake Pres.) 148 8%
Mission President 5 0%
CALLINGS HELD: WOMEN
# %
Served in at least one calling 996 77%
Young Women's Presidency 544 42%
Relief Society Presidency 452 35%
Primary Presidency 406 31%
Missionary 215 17%
Spouse of Bishopric 99 8%
Stake calling (Aux. Presidency, wife of Stake Presidency) 75 6%
Temple Worker 60 5%
Spouse of Mission President 4 o%
Research Summary \ 24
21% of respondents
(or spouse) are —
bishopric or higher
HIGHEST CALLINGS HELD
BY SURVEY PARTICIPANTS
Research Summary \ 25
Mission President = 5
Stake President = 20
Mission Presidency
Stake Presidency
Stake Aux. / High Council
Bishopric
EQ Pres, RS Pres, HP Leader
Ward Auxiliary Presidency
“Not since
Kirtland have
we seen such an
exodus of the
Church’s best
and brightest
leaders.”
TERRYL GIVENS LDS SCHOLAR
Research Summary | 26
REASONS &
REPERCUSSIONS
Survey respondents were asked to identify the reasons that led to their
loss-of-belief (respondents were able to select multiple “primary factors.” )
As indicated in the below chart, the top factors for loss-of-belief are highly
correlated to each other and pertain specifically to the Church’s key
historical truth claims: 1) Joseph Smith, 2) History, 3) Doctrine / theology,
4) Book of Mormon
Interestingly, factors traditionally cited as reasons for loss-of-faith (offense,
desire to sin) rank least relevant amongst these Faith Crisis respondents.
STATED REASONS FOR LOSS-OF-BELIEF
| ceased to believe the doctrine/theology
| studied church history and lost my belief
| lost faith in Joseph Smith
| lost faith in the Book of Mormon
| lost confidence in the general authorities
Church's stance on women
| did not feel spiritually edified at church
Church's stance on homosexuals / Prop 8
Church's stance on race issues
Church's stance on science matters
| became bothered by church culture
| re-evaluted what it means to believe/know
| lost confidence in local church leaders
| lost my faith in God
| lost my faith in Jesus
| didn't receive the promised spiritual witness
| received a spiritual witness to leave the church
Lack of meaningful friendships within the church
| or someone was abused by someone at church
| was offended by someone
Wanted alcohol, extra-marital sex
(PRIMARY FACTORS)
Research Summary | 27
Multiple versions of the First Vision
Anachronisms in Book of Mormon
Credibility of priesthood restoration
Loss of Credibility the Three Witnesses
RANKING OF PRIMARY FACTORS
(WITHIN HISTORICAL ISSUES)
Book of Abraham
Polygamy/Polyandry
Blacks and the Priesthood
DNA and the Book of Mormon
Masonic ties to temple ceremony
Women and the Priesthood
Church positions on science
Changes to temple ceremony
Blood atonement
Book of Mormon Translation
Adam-God theory
Mountain Meadows Massacre
Kinderhook Plates
Joseph history of treasure digging
Mark Hofmann scandal
View of the Hebrews
io}
x
ioe}
x
15 % 23 % 30 %
DISCLOSURE TO OTHER PARTIES
- In general, the believing spouse of a member experiencing a Faith Crisis
tends to be aware of his or her struggling spouse’s Faith Crisis. Church
leaders and friends tend to be less aware.
- Young members are least likely to disclose their Faith Crisis to Church
leaders: only 2 of 203 teen respondents (less than 1 percent) state their
Church leaders know “most everything.”
- Members in their 50s and 60s are least likely to disclose to their spouse
(5 percent less likely than all ages).
SOCIAL REPERCUSSIONS
- For those who disclose their Faith Crisis doubts, many report
feelings of “social excommunication” from LDS family and friends.
- Over fifty percent of active members in Faith Crisis report moderate
to severe cost to relationships and their individual emotional health.
Research Summary \ 28
ACCUMULATION LEADS TO DISBELIEF
FAITH
FAITH
FAITH
An accumulation of several historical and social issues—not just one single
issue—often correlates to a loss-of-faith.
When bearing a nominal amount of “shelf issues,” many members
continue with strong faith and active Church participation. Accumulating
additional social and historical issues can lead to the weakening—and
then catastrophic failure of the member’s faith.
Research Summary \ 29
“It’s not any one FEELINGS OF
of these historical BETRAYAL
issues, but the See eee tree mn al
accumulation of
' “IT defended the church to
them combined : associates who brought up some
with the Church S historical issues. When I did my
; own research, I found they were
lack of addressing true. My issue wasn’t that they
were true but that my whole life
these CONCemMs ON I was never told about them... I
their Own. ee felt betrayed by the church.”
RESPONDENT #732, ANONYMOUS FEMALE, IN HER 40'S
RESPONDENT #105, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 30'S
“T feel like I cannot trust the
general leadership on any
spiritual issues because they
cannot even be honest and open
about our past.”
RESPONDENT #597, ANONYMOUS FEMALE, IN HER 20'S
Research Summary \ 30 Research Summary | 31
“The Church needs to be
honest with its history and
contradictions...instead they
make us who have discovered
the complicating facts look like
the evil ones. Iam shunned by
my family. They think Iama
liar and a deceiver when it 1s the
Church and general authorities
who have deceived us.”
RESPONDENT #701, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 60'S
“The church leadership doesn't
match the level of honesty they
preach about in Church manuals.
I have no faith or trust in them
anymore, and for all they have
done to me and my relationship
with my wife, I consider them
my enemy.”
RESPONDENT #1208, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 30'S
Research Summary \ 32
SURVEY
KEY FINDINGS
i
eS)
On
Ne)
‘The significant majority of survey respondents
represent long-term members who were (until
recently) actively engaged and holding leadership
and other callings.
. Members in faith crisis tend to be married, more
educated than average, and earn higher-than-average
incomes.
. A little less than half of these disbelievers remain
active in the Church, while over half no longer attend.
‘The majority of those who left did so in the past
seven years.
. Among historical issues, the Book of Abraham and
Polygamy/Polyandry are the most significant factors
leading to loss-of-belief.
. Although some factors rate higher than others,
respondents indicate the exposure to several factors
(historical + social issues) collectively led to their
disbelief.
. Spouses tend to be aware of the Faith Crisis issue.
Church leaders and friends tend to be less aware.
. Members in Faith Crisis who attend Church
regularly tend to suffer the most mental and spiritual
anguish as a result of their discovering these issues.
. For many, Faith Crisis extracts an extremely high
cost in spousal and familial relationships.
10. A strong sense of betrayal often accompanies a
member’s loss-of-faith.
Research Summary | 33
FAITH CRISIS
=saalh
Se =
re
=a
= A —
FAITH CRISIS STAGES THE TRUE BELIEVER
TRAUMATIZED EX / POST TRAUMATIZED EX / POST
DISBELIEVER MORMON DISBELIEVER MORMON
TRUE TRAUMATIZED o TRUE "ee TRAUMATIZED
BELIEVER BELIEVER oe BELIEVER BELIEVER
° .
. .
eek ce
LESS-LITERAL SECULAR LESS-LITERAL SECULAR
BELIEVER PARTICIPANT BELIEVER PARTICIPANT
Overview ‘The faith of a True Believer is “beautifully simple and simply beautiful.”
Faith Crisis is a deeply personal experience that varies from member to Ror these Te Poor members:
member, although there are many similarities that define the experience. Ged lites and He lovesis
5 ;
‘The Faith Crisis Stages provide a framework to better understand and . The scriptures are His word.
- Church leaders (General Authorities) speak for God.
- The LDS Church is the one and only true church on Earth.
articulate the Faith Crisis experience.
Faith Crisis Stages | 36 Faith Crisis Stages \ 37
TRUE
BELIEVER
THE CATALYST STAGE
TRAUMATIZED
DISBELIEVER
TRAUMATIZED
BELIEVER
LESS-LITERAL
BELIEVER
A Faith Crisis Catalyst is an event that can initiate and precipitate a
loss-of-faith for a True Believer. Dozens of Faith Crisis catalysts exist.
Common catalysts include:
A Teaching Calling or Assignment To Speak In Church
While attempting to fulfill a Sunday School or Seminary calling—or
researching Sacrament Meeting talks—members turn to Google to
research their topic. This often inadvertently exposes members to
historical and doctrinal information that deviates from the standard LDS
narrative taught in our curriculum.
Traditional Media
‘Traditional media such as CNN, PBS, Newsweek, and other news outlets
have reported on controversial aspects of our history that often surprise
and confuse lifelong, educated members of the Church. Entertainment
media have also focused on our doctrine and history. For example,
Comedy Central’s South Park aired an “All About Mormons” episode
in which they describe the translation method of the Book of Mormon
(along with other historical oddities). While many members who watched
the episode rejected it as outright fabrication, many members were
disheartened to later learn that much of what was depicted by South Park
was more historically accurate than what is taught in our curriculum.
Faith Crisis Stages | 38
EX / POST
MORMON
SECULAR
PARTICIPANT
Close Friend or Family Member in Faith Crisis
Many members who have passed through a Faith Crisis may choose to
share their faith concerns with close friends and family, which introduces
difficult topics to others.
Non-Correlated Church Books
Scholarly Church books—written by faithful LDS authors—have
inadvertently acted as a catalyst to learning about Church history that
does not align with our traditional narrative.
New Media
Being exposed to troubling historical information via New Media (Google,
Yahoo, Bing, etc.) can act as a catalyst for Faith Crisis.
Social Media
Social Media platforms such as Facebook, You lube, and blogs actively
facilitate the presentation of and discussion of Faith Crisis related topics.
Re-examination of Truth Claims via Social Issues
Members who struggle with the Church’s stances on some social issues
(e.g., women’s roles, homosexuality, LDS cultural idiosyncrasies, political
conservatism) often use the social issue as a catalyst to re-examine their
faith. This “social issue” catalyst is especially powerful with our under 35
members who often feel at odds with the Church’s approach to issues.
Re-examination of Truth Claims via Life Tragedy
Some members who experience personal tragedy (e.g., family-member
death, disability, divorce, etc.) use the tragedy as a catalyst to reevaluate
the Church’s truth claims.
Less Likely Catalysts
While undoubtedly some members use a desire to sin as an excuse
to “find a way out” of the Church, neither “sin” nor “being offended”
appears to be significant catalysts for these surveyed members.
Faith Crisis Stages | 39
New Media Examples Social Media Examples
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reddit.com/r/exmormon
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www.josephsmith.net/
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Videos Polygamy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Some members unintentionally stumble upon Faith Crisis catalysts via social
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy
a Hor iener Pa cert sherry re aaa media (three examples are shown above).
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All results Polyandry - LDS Social Network Forums
ener spet-taitn-J12,200 anti-Mormon messaging and links to an antagonistic website.
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After reading through the threads on polygamy, | noticed a few comments wondering
about the practice of polyandry in the early church.
Ber er een 2) A team of disaffected members created the web site FutureMissionary.
OF] A Tale of Two jarriage Syste: 1S
Fle Fomat: PDF/Adobe Acrobat com, which purports to be a resource with preparatory information for
by S Katich - 2003 - Related articles P . . . : :
See hee eed eo ee ee future missionaries. The site, however, presents troubling historical
information aimed at “telling the truth” and eroding faith.
3) As members view the faith-promoting video, “Thoughts on Girls —
What Some LDS Young Men Think,” members are presented with links
to highly critical “related videos” that are designed to erode faith.
Unintentional (and intentional) access to troubling information is one
or two clicks away from a simple Google search:
Faith Crisis Stages | 40 Faith Crisis Stages | 41
Traditional Media Examples
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‘Traditional media often highlight the very best aspects of Mormonism, but it
also presents information to our membership that conflicts with our correlated
narrative. he media also advances web sites and organized groups that are
antagonistic towards the Church. Examples of this include:
- “By the end of his life, he had accrued some 30 wives, massive debt and
hundreds of enemies. ‘I never told you I was perfect,’ he told his followers.”
Soukup, Elise. “The Mormon Odyssey.” Newsweek Oct. 16 2005.
- “David ‘Twede, a fifth-generation Mormon who lives in Florida, is the
managing editor of MormonThink, one of the most influential of the many
Web sites on which active and former Mormons debate church teaching.
Such sites have drawn increased traffic as Mormons turn to the Internet
to find answers to controversial questions about Mormon history and
traditions that the church does not address.” Goodstein, Laurie. “Editor of
Web Site May Face Mormon Excommunication.” The New York Times,
Sep. 21, 2012.
Faith Crisis Stages | 42
Dichotomous Statements Can Magnify Dissonance
During the Catalyst stage, many struggling members begin
experiencing cognitive dissonance—or feelings of discomfort—when
presented with data that contradicts their previous beliefs. This
dissonance can often be magnified by well-meaning leaders who—in
an effort to bolster faith—present dichotomous messages that leave
little room for nuance, error, or leader fallibility. Examples of these
dichotomous statements include:
- “It’s either true or false. If it’s false, we’re engaged in a great fraud. If
it’s true, it’s the most important thing in the world. Now, that’s the
whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or
true.” Gordon B. Hinckley, Interview “The Mormons”; PBS,
April 2007
- “Mormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph
Smith. He was either a prophet of God, divinely called, properly
appointed and commissioned, or he was one of the biggest frauds
this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground.”
Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, 1954, vol. 1, p. 188
Faith Crisis Stages \ 43
TRAUMATIZED BELIEVER
TRAUMATIZED
weeks DISBELIEVER
.* TRAUMATIZED °.
. BELIEVER i
LESS-LITERAL
BELIEVER
After exposure to a Faith Crisis catalyst, many members enter the
‘Traumatized Believer stage, which results in exposure to many troubling
facts and non-traditional points-of-view. This is @ emporary stage that is
quickly followed by either the Traumatized Disbeliever or Less-literal
Believer stages.
The Traumatized Believer can be described in these terms:
Awareness of Difficult Church History
- Multiple, varying First Vision accounts
- Joseph’s use of folk magic and treasure digging
- Book of Mormon translation (stone / hat)
- Masonry and endowment connection
- Joseph’s credibility as a translator
- Joseph’s polygamy / polyandry
- Kinderhook Plates
- Denial of priesthood to blacks / racism
- Perceived modified role of women’s rights
- Mountain Meadows
- Blood atonement
- Lying for the Lord
- Adam / God teachings
- Priesthood restoration credibility issues
- Post-manifesto polygamy
- Lack of historical candor
Faith Crisis Stages | 44
EX / POST
MORMON
SECULAR
PARTICIPANT
Awareness of Ghallenging Scientific Issues
- Book of Mormon anachronisms (e.g., horses, steel, chariots, Book of Isaiah,
King James errors, etc.)
- Native Americans having Asiatic DNA
- Book of Abraham text not matching the papyrus
- Age of the earth (6,000 years old? No death on earth before the Fall?)
- Implausible scriptural accounts (e.g., Noah’s Ark, Jonah in Whale, ‘Tower
of Babel, etc.)
- Dark skin as a curse
- Past statements on evolution
Re-examination of Theology and Doctrine
- Apparent God-sanctioned genocide, sexism, racism
- One true church with exclusive authority
- Taking all scripture literally
Re-examination of Cultural Issues
- Feminist awareness and sympathies
- Historical racial inequalities
- Past and present stance on homosexuality
- Political and social conservatism
- Culture of perfectionism
Confronting Spiritual Issues
- Having had a spiritual witness but not being able to reconcile it
with new learnings
- Never receiving a spiritual witness (after many sincere attempts)
- Feeling bored, unfulfilled, or spiritually unedified in Church activity
- Feeling burnt-out / not good enough
- Feeling spiritually led elsewhere
Re-examination of Institutional Issues
- Culture of unquestioning obedience
- Culture of patriarchy
- Closed finances
- Questionable spending priorities (e.g., City Creek.)
Members who pass through the Traumatized Believer stage tend to never
return to the True Believer stage.
Faith Crisis Stages \ 45
Cogmitive Dissonance Creates a Drive for More Information
Once exposed to disturbing historical information, many Traumatized
Believers experience high levels of anxiety based on viewing information
that contradicts their existing beliefs. This cognitive dissonance leads many
to search for additional information to alleviate the conflicting beliefs.
At the onset of a Faith Crisis, many members search LDS.org for answers to
their concerns. However, many troubling historical issues are not addressed
substantively on the Church’s websites or in its curricula. Many struggling
members are then directed to traditional apologetics such as FAIR and The
Maxwell Institute. Unfortunately, these traditional apologetics often do not
provide a satisfactory counter of issues that lead to Faith Crisis.
Without access to Church provided answers and analysis, members turn to
uncorrelated or untrustworthy Internet sources. Some of these sources are
sympathetic to Church membership. Many are unsympathetic and critical.
SYMPATHETIC
‘Traditional Apologetics
not hitting the mark with this
group of Faith Crisis members.
MORVON
sys TIMES AND SEASONS,
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Faith Crisis Stages | 46
Thousands pass through the Traumatized Believer stage each year.
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Faith Crisis Stages \ 47
LESS-LITERAL BELIEVER
TRAUMATIZED EX / POST
DISBELIEVER MORMON
TRAUMATIZED
BELIEVER
A
e° fe
*, LESS-LITERAL .° SECULAR
* BELIEVER..." PARTICIPANT
Nuanced Belief
- Following the Traumatized Believer stage, many believe the gospel is still
mostly true, but the Church and its leaders have made mistakes.
- Members build (or rebuild) a “shelf” for unresolvable doubts and concerns.
- Many become“Buffet” Mormons by cleaving to doctrinal and cultural
elements that spiritually work for them and ignoring those doctrinal and
cultural elements that spiritually do not work for them.
- For many, belief becomes more metaphorical and less literal.
- Many remain active and participating members as they believe “this 1s
where God wants me.”
Challenges
- While still remaining active, many members, unfortunately, experience
a decrease in their level of Church commitment. (ceasing to pay tithing,
decreased temple attendance, etc.).
- They are often unable to confide in anyone, which can result in desperate
loneliness and increased anxiety.
- Many of these Less-literal Believers experience a difficultly feeling
authentic in Church; and for many, this emotional distress and cognitive
dissonance can result in the member transitioning to a less-believing Faith
Crisis stage and disengage completely from the Church.
Faith Crisis Stages | 48
TRUE
BELIEVER
SECULAR PARTICIPANT
TRAUMATIZED EX / POST
DISBELIEVER MORMON
TRAUMATIZED
BELIEVER
LESS-LITERAL
SECULAR
BELIEVER *s, PARTICIPANT |.°
Loss-of-belief
- Members in the Secular Participant phase are often not able to believe the
defining Church claims and doctrines.
- They enjoy the Church.
- “Tt works for me.”
- “T can’t find anything better.”
Challenges
- Members in the Secular Participant stage must often remain silent about
their disbelief or risk negative social consequences.
- This inability to express their concerns often causes members to feel
inauthentic at Church.
- For some members in this stage, continued participation can lead to a
building of internal pressure, which can cause them to discontinue all
Church activity.
Faith Crisis Stages | 49
TRAUMATIZED DISBELIEVER
. TRAUMATIZED “°, EX / POST
DISBELIEVER °*. MORMON
TRAUMATIZED
BELIEVER
LESS-LITERAL SECULAR
BELIEVER PARTICIPANT
Following the Traumatized Believer stage, members will migrate to either
the Less-literal Believer stage or to the Traumatized Disbelever stage. This
is a temporary stage with most members quickly transitioning to the Ex- /
Post-Mormon phase. The ‘Traumatized Disbeliever can be described in
these terms:
Evaporation of Belief
- For many, the loss-of-trust in the Church can translate into a loss-of-faith
in God, Jesus Christ, and all religious beliefs.
- Traumatized Disbelievers often hit “rock bottom.”
- This stage can be very disturbing and unsettling for the struggling
member. Many have labeled this Faith Crisis stage the “dark night of
the soul.”
Challenges
- Vanishing of existential foundation (loss of purpose)
- Questioning life after death
- Loss of identity and values
- Fear of losing family, friends, social network, and job
- Often unable to confide in anyone (can result in desperate loneliness)
- Anxiety, depression, and at times, suicidal thoughts
Faith Crisis Stages \ 50
TRUE
BELIEVER
EX- / POST-MORMON
TRAUMATIZED
DISBELIEVER
TRAUMATIZED
BELIEVER
LESS-LITERAL
BELIEVER
The Ex- / Post-Mormon can be described in these terms:
- For many, leaving the Church results in loss of family, friends, and job.
- Many feel alone and isolated from family members and friends who
choose not to engage the disaffected member or attempt to resolve their
concerns (this increases feelings of turmoil).
- Turmoil and animosity increase when some Ex- / Post-Mormons feel
unjustly blamed for feeling victimized (e.g., active members imply they
have insufficient study habits, were offended, want to sin, or sinned, etc.).
- In early stages, many engage in behaviors reactive to LDS restrictions
(coffee, alcohol, chastity, etc.)
- Many spend months or years analyzing their disaffection and attempting
to“tell the truth” to believing friends and family before completely
disengaging from the topic of Mormonism. The longer and more devoted
a person to the Church, typically the more prolonged the transition from
engaged Ex Mormon to completely disengaged Ex Mormon.
- Transitioning to the Ex Mormon stage requires the creation of:
— New identity
— New moral framework
— New social community
— Coping mechanisms for death and suffering
- Many feel life is better once they’ve left the Church.
- A minority of Ex Mormons remove their name from Church records; but
many do not as they do not wish to unnecessarily offend believing family
or “give legitimacy” to the Church institution.
Faith Crisis Stages | 51
EX / POST
MORMON
SECULAR
PARTICIPANT
THE PERPETUAL
CYCLE OF
DISAFFECTION
OVERVIEW
While each Faith Crisis is unique, many commonalities exist that define
the experience. The goal of The Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection graphic
is to distill the Faith Crisis “vicious cycle” to its simplest core. While
this represents the worst case scenario, the majority of our Faith Crisis
members experience at least several aspects of this cycle. The cycle is
divided into three main trisectors: 1) Discover, 2) Disclosure & Distress, and
3) Disaffection & Disaffiliation.
3. DISAFFECTION & —— — 1. DISCOVER
DISAFFILIATION
2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 54
A Need for Greater Understanding
‘Too often families, friends, spouses, and members label our Faith Crisis
members as pariahs and avoid them like the plague—even when they’re
just at the questioning stage.
Just as important as why people leave is the question of what we do with
our doubting and disaffected Faith Crisis brothers and sisters. As outlined
poignantly by the Faith Crisis survey respondents: once a struggling
member starts heading out the proverbial Church door, we members often
make sure to slam the door firmly behind them. At the center of solving
our Faith Crisis challenge is the need to break this cycle of disaffection.
“When learning more about Church
history and Joseph Smith, I felt the
church had knowingly deceived
me in order to maintain my beliefs.
I think the Church’s withholding
of information is an equal crime to
dishonesty and deceit, especially
when they are aware of their
importance it has in a member’s
life choices and psyche.”
RESPONDENT # 1680, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 40'S
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 55
STEP 1: INITIATION
‘The mass majority of online information designed to erode the faith of
others is created by disaffected members or former members of the LDS
Church.
1. DISCOVER
ee Ml,
Active member hears
about troubling elements
ot Church history, theology,
and culture from a
disattected member.
2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 56
“After researching Book of
Abraham issues in an attempt to
resolve some concerns of a family
member, I quickly realized from
reviewing the topical index at
fairlds.org that there was much in
the history that I did not know.
As a result, I decided for the first
time in my life to examine the
church objectively through the
lens of logic and critical thinking.
None of my supernatural beliefs
survived that examination.”
RESPONDENT #2296, ANONYMOUS FEMALE, IN HER 30'S
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 57
STEP 2: SEARCH
When members are faced with disproving or refuting anti-Mormon claims,
many first turn to LDS.org, which unfortunately has limited information
on the majority of the difficult topics. Not finding satisfactory answers,
members turn to Google to refute the difficult claims they have heard.
es ll a
Z,
Active member searches
for information to refute
new information.
2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 58
“Do you expect me to believe
that my four sisters and I could
go to church from primary
through seminary and BYU and
not know how our own Book of
Mormon was produced? Please
stop with the apologetics as well.
FAIR and the Maxwell Institute
contributed to my leaving
the church. Sincere believing
members want to hear [about
troubling issues] from the leaders
they set apart as prophets, seers
and revelators.”
RESPONDENT #2122, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 40'S
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 59
STEP 3: TROUBLING DISCOVERY
Many believing members disregard disturbing historical and doctrinal
claims as “anti-Mormon lies” that have no merit or are exaggerated to
the point of lunacy. While there are plenty of unfounded claims against
the Church, many of the most prominent anti-Mormon claims have been
verified by faithful Church historians as having merit.
1. DISCOVER
spisurerion & — |
Mi,
Z,
Active member finds the a
disatfected member was =
accurate in many of =
their claims. S
S$
2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 60
“My loss of belief has as much
to do with how the church dealt
with or 1s dealing with these
issues as much as it 1s the issues
themselves. Also, there is no
‘primary’ factor for my loss-of-
belief. My testimony suffered a
death by a thousand cuts.”
RESPONDENT #2249, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 30'S
“The problem is we have NO
WHERE to go for official answers.
You do a search on LDS.org for
polygamy and get a talk from
Elder Ballard about why people
should stop asking us about it.”
ANONYMOUS FEMALE VIA FACEBOOK
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 61
STEP 4: BETRAYAL
When a member discovers facts that contradict the existing historical
narrative, she feels a strong sense of betrayal. Many members in Faith
Crisis attribute this high sense of betrayal to the high level of trust they
placed in the Church. For many, equal to the difficult historical issues
themselves is the loss-of-trust in the Church and feelings of betrayal.
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Active member feels
betrayed thinking the
Church “hid the truth’
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2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 62
“I learned the dishonesty was
systematic and institutional,
euphemized as ‘correlation,’ on
the part of what I had believed
to be God’s church—the only
true and living church upon the
face of the whole earth with
which God was supposedly
well pleased. Indeed, the
very church which burned the
principle of honesty into my soul
as a youth, the church which
required me to be ‘honest in all
my dealings,’ and the church to
which I had confessed my darkest
indiscretions in an attempt to
remain honest before God—this
same church simply has not told
the truth about itself.”
RESPONDENT #2241, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 30'S
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 63
STEP 5: HARSH TREATMENT
Whether it’s our innate desire to defend the Church—or our desire to
avoid information that contradicts our standard LDS narrative—the most
common LDS response to an active member posing difficult questions
is one of defense and dismissal (see listing of actual responses on the
following page).
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Active member shares
concerns with tamily
and friends and is
treated harshly.
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2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 64
Harsh Responses by Loved Ones
When struggling members disclose their Faith Crisis, they are often met
with harsh, “shame and blame” responses that further alienate them from
loved ones. The following actual responses illustrate this point:
- What covenant are you breaking?
- You must want to sin.
- Who has offended your
- Are you clinically depressed?
- You’re not worthy to be a parent if
you re questioning this.
- | must have raised you poorly.
- | would rather see you dead than see
you lose your testimony.
- Stop reading and thinking about
these historical issues.
- Your concerns are anti-Mormon lies
and are meritless.
- It’s your own fault you’re struggling.
Nothing has been misrepresented.
- Your IQ just dropped 30 points for
questioning these things.
- Your discontent is part of the latter-
day “inner cleansing” of the Church.
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 65
STEP 6: DISTANCING
Many struggling members and active members experience a schism in
their relationship. This is often aggravated by the struggling member’s
over-reaction to the belief they have been treated harshly and unjustly
persecuted for simply asking questions and disclosing historically accurate
information.
1. DISCOVER
s DISNERECTION & — lly
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2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 66
Lack of Empathy
For many, it’s less about us answering difficult historical questions than it
is about how we treat their doubt. Many yearn for—but do not receive—
acknowledgement of their struggles.
Lack of Official LDS Acknowledgement
The lack of official LDS acknowledgement of difficult issues—and the
lack of clear position statements—often aggravates and discourages those
suffering from Faith Crisis.
“I found there were times I turned
to loved ones for comfort and
support and instead found drama
and debate. It’s already isolating
to feel your faith crumble beneath
you. People shouldn’t make it
worse by treating you poorly.”
ANONYMOUS FEMALE VIA FACEBOOK
“In my experience, these are
heartfelt questions from people
having honest skepticism who
are then met with judgement,
accusations, and everything but
satisfactory answers. Telling me
my concerns are all lies or half
truths (when they’re not) is what
discourages me the most.”
ANONYMOUS MALE VIA FACEBOOK
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 67
STEP 7: ANGER MAGNIFICATION Denial of Difficult Issues
While the Internet does include false information masked as anti-Mormon
Members in Faith Crisis who believe they are being wrongfully punished facts, many troubling issues have been verified by faithful Church
for “following the truth” become even more incensed at the Church from scholars. When members and leaders make broad statements denying the
the resulting strain and damage to their familial relationships. validity of Internet Faith Crisis issues, struggling members often become
even more despondent as active members then use this “there is no
problem” justification to discount the concerns of their struggling family and
friends. These combine to further push struggling members from the Church.
‘The Facebook quote below is, unfortunately, a commonly felt sentiment to
members and leaders who state or imply that there are no credible historical
criticisms to be found on the Internet.
2 ll anion
Si
Feelings of betrayal
over historical issues
are magnitied by anger
at loss of familial
relationships.
“Our Church leaders shou/d say:
- | acknowledge your pain and
concerns about this problem.
- Here’s the correct answer or way I
reconcile this problem.
ly
\
™\)
\(t
Instead they say:
- There is no problem.
- If you think there’s a problem, it’s
YY » p
\N Sal
C7 \\ your fault for making it a problem.
- Repent for making it a problem.”
ANONYMOUS MALE VIA FACEBOOK
im
ws
Y
2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 68 Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection | 69
STEP 8: COMPLETED CYCLE-OF-DISAFFECTION
Levels of disaffection and resentment vary greatly among those who
experience a Faith Crisis. On the far extreme, some disaffected members
literally devote their entire lives to battling the Church and “proclaiming
the truth” to the active membership. Unfortunately, many of these
disaffected members—through the Internet and social media—are seeing
substantial success in their efforts.
Se «i! | aie
Active member
becomes disaffected
member and shares
their pain and anger
with others.
~~
WS
Te
w
Yj
Ty
YY \\
Migs
2. DISCLOSURE & DISTRESS
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 70
“My wife divorced me because
she held the church above our
marriage. Being truthful about
the facts of science and fairness
destroyed my marriage... Uhe first
law of heaven should be love not
1?
obedience!
RESPONDENT #2092, ANONYMOUS MALE, IN HIS 50'S
“A Facebook friend posted a
derogatory comment about
Joseph Smith. I started refuting
her comment. She sent me links
to very credible sites. Within a
month, I realized I had lived a he.
My husband was Bishop, and I
was Primary President at the time.
It’s been a tough couple of years,
but our kids are thriving outside
of the church.”
RESPONDENT #2084, ANONYMOUS FEMALE, IN HER 30'S
Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection \ 71
FATIH CRISIS
PROFILES
we ie hit LO ae oe Me Phe.
; ) ie laced col ce a
FATTH-CRISIS-
STORY SURVEY
IMPETUS & METHODOLOGY
‘To bring the Faith Crisis challenge to life in human terms, our research
team developed an online-based anonymous survey to collect first-person
Faith Crisis narratives. The survey collected demographic and Church
service data and allowed participants to submit a summary of their Faith
Crisis experience. ‘The survey launched in May 2013 and was distributed
via social media. The average participant spent 45.81 minutes completing
the survey. Over a thousand stories were collected in the survey’s first few
hours from participants in North America, Europe, Asia, and Oceania.
Survey participants were encouraged to express themselves using 700
words or less and were asked to consider addressing the following points:
1. The type of faith you had prior to your loss-of-faith (e.g., fully active,
semi-active, non-active)?
2. What is the reason or reasons for your loss-of-faith?
3. How you felt and what you experienced as a result of your loss-of-faith?
4. How have others (family, friends, ecclesiastical leaders) responded to
your faith crisis?
5. How you would describe your current belief and relationship with the
LDS Church?
6. What might have prevented your faith crisis in the first place?
7. What, if anything, might help rebuild your faith?
A sampling of the provided stories is included on the following pages.
All captured stories can be provided upon request.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 75
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 50 - 64
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $200,000+
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Young Women’s Presidency, Young Women’s
President, Relief Society Presidency, Relief
Society President, Primary Presidency, Primary
President, Spouse of Bishopric, Temple Worker
I was never inactive prior to learning the true church history. I was born
in the covenant, faithful in my youth, attended BYU, married a returned
missionary in the temple and raised my children in the church (both of
my sons went on missions). I was always a full tithe payer. I never missed
church and even attended when on vacations by finding the nearest
church to wherever we were at the time. I held nearly every leadership
position a woman can hold in the church and served faithfully.
My awakening began with hearing some things about Joseph Smith’s
polygamy and went online to prove these things wrong. I quickly learned
that they were in fact the truth and then proceeded to learn about Joseph
Smith and others’ polyandry, too. That was the beginning of my journey
into discovering all of the church history that had been whitewashed and
kept hidden from me during all of my faithful years. After this, I simply
could not support an organization that demanded complete 100% honesty
from me when they had and continued to be extremely dishonest in
their teachings and lessons (especially regarding church history and past
doctrines).
My husband, who was also extremely active and had held numerous
leadership positions, felt like I did once he discovered the truth. Two of
my four children have also left the church and the other two are working
their way out now, too. Out of seven of my siblings (all serving missions
and marrying in the temple), only one of them is still active (and they are
only semi-active due to their spouse wanting to attend). All of them have
Faith Crisis Profiles | 76
left because of the dishonesty regarding church history, Book of Abraham
issues, DNA problems, and other issues with the Book of Mormon.
If the church had been honest with their history and other details from
their past, I would have loved learning about these as I was growing up
and when I was older. It would have made the church leaders feel more
human and full of integrity for me to know their faults and mistakes along
with their good qualities. It would have given me hope when I also made
mistakes and tried to repent. I would not have stopped attending if the
church had simply been honest with me. I believe if they start doing this,
they may be able to stop the hemorrhaging of some of their best, most
valiant, most educated, and most hard working and devoted members.
‘They are definitely losing some of their strongest members and this will
continue because the true information is so readily available to all now.
Also, this is affecting new baptism rates tremendously because no one
will join a church requiring the time and money demanded by the LDS
church without at least doing a Google search. Who wants to join a church
that is not honest?
I miss a great deal of what I had when I was an active member of the
church, but the truth is very important to me. So is integrity and honesty.
I will not go back unless the church leaders start implementing honest
information and discussions about its past.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 77
ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $200,000+
EDUCATION LEVEL: Graduate School
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, ‘Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Temple Worker, Gospel
Doctrine ‘Teacher, Young Men’s Presidency,
Young Men’s President, Ward Mission Leader,
Elder’s Quorum Presidency, High Priest
Leader, Stake Auxiliary Calling, Bishopric
Councilor
I ama born in the covenant, life long member of the church. My large
family includes bishops, stake presidents, temple presidents, stake
patriarchs. Up until my mid 40s, I was a fully in, believing member of
the church. I served a mission and have always fulfilled any calling or
responsibility given to me to the best of my ability.
I married my high school sweetheart and we have raised our children in
the church. All of my siblings have gone on missions with the exception of
one sister and all have been married in the temple.
I was aware that their are issues with church history and the evolution of
church doctrine. At the age of 31, I made the decision to not worry about
any of those issues. I chose to emphasize my spiritual experiences and
live by faith. I saw miracles on a regular basis, so what more did I need?
At the age of 46, my oldest returned missionary son came to me and told
me he no longer believed. In order to save his eternal soul, I decided
to delve deeply into the issues of the church in order to find the “real”
answers and help my son regain his testimony. But what happened 1s, I
found out, that the “real” answers pointed away from the truthfulness
of the church’s truth claims. I am not saying the church is not true. But
here is the key point. The church teaches a very simplified version of the
truth. The purpose of this appears to be faith promoting and to simplify
the message for a world wide church. But when you get into the detail of
the foundation below that message, you find out that the simple picture
Faith Crisis Profiles | 78
in many ways is not supported by facts and history. In fact, some times an
opposite picture is presented.
What does it mean that a prophet won’t lead us astray? I used to think
something differently than I do today.
What does it mean that the Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the
gospel and is the most correct book on earth? Gospel lessons in Sunday
School teach a very different picture than reality.
What does it mean when we support Joseph Smith as a seer and able
to translate ancient documents? ‘The Book of Abraham paints a very
different picture than what reality supports.
I still have a “testimony.” But it no longer looks like anything that I was
taught in church. I’ve had to redefine it in order to be honest with myself.
‘The one thing the church could do is to be honest with its members. I
have too many examples where dishonesty exists in the church leaders
for sake of being faith promoting. They look deceitful when they are not
being open. When someone only give part of the truth and lets someone
believe something that is not true, even when they were only silent in not
sharing the information, it looks like they are disingenuous. It looks like
they are being dishonest.
If the church would face this hard fact, it would make it much easier to
be an active Mormon with an unorthodox testimony. Especially when that
unorthodox testimony is two steps closer to the truth than the orthodox
testimony taught every Sunday in Gospel Doctrine.
I continue to be an active member. I continue to hold a senior leadership
position in my ward. I continue to pay tithing, and I continue to live to
the external principles I have been taught (i.e., word of wisdom). But
through the dishonesty, my heart and allegiance no longer belong to the
church.
‘Thank you for doing this. I wish you all the best to help resolve this
problem that the church is not true the way they teach that they are
true. It is a difficult challenge to fess up when you have been wrong. But
great things come from being honest with yourselves first and then being
honest with those around you.
Do what is right and let the consequences follow.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 79
ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $200,000+
“piueetion LEVEL: Doctorate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Gospel Doctrine
‘Teacher, Elder’s Quorum Presidency, Elder’s
Quorum President
I have always been a fully active member of the Church—I served a
full-time mission, graduated from Institute, and married in the temple.
Church history and doctrine (they seem very intertwined) have always
been interesting to me, so I’ve spent a significant amount of time reading
about both (Nibley, Rough Stone Rolling, FARMS, ‘Teachings of the
Prophet Joseph Smith, etc.). I always knew there were some troubling
aspects of Church history and beliefs, but my impression was always that
they were minor and, if not necessarily easily answered, at least easily
ignored. Reading Nibley and the other FARMS works definitely gave me
that impression (e.g. we may not know who the Nephites and Lamanites
were, but look at all this indirect evidence of their existence!).
I recently found myself (inadvertently, actually) on the MormonThink
website. It looked interesting, and I figured that any questions they might
bring up would fit into either the easily answered or easily ignored group.
I was surprised to find that few of the issues presented fit into those
groups. I never had any problem accepting that there was no evidence
in favor of the Book of Mormon—I could accept its historicity on faith.
However, discovering that the physical evidence wasn’t just lacking, but
was directly contradictory to the Book of Mormon (no horses, no chariots,
not an empty continent but no Israelites mentioned, no Middle Eastern
DNA among any American Indian tribes) made me doubt its truth. I had
already known that the Church was in possession of the Book of Abraham
papyrus, and that it didn’t match up with Joseph’s translation, but I'd
never spent time thinking that through. Joseph’s translation is abysmal,
and the facsimiles are actually embarrassing (the goddess Isis is Pharaoh?).
Faith Crisis Profiles | 80
‘The idea that the book was received as a revelation and the papyrus was
just a catalyst seems to be a weak rationalization, as Joseph obviously
thought he was translating—did God lie to him? Also, Joseph’s polyandry
even though D&C 132 specifically says “virgins” just made me question
Joseph even more (and let’s not get started on Danites). One or two issues
can be pushed aside, but there just appear to be too many to believe.
Learning all of this lead to two contradictory feelings: disappointment
that the Gospel isn’t true, and relief, because some things in the Gospel
I'd felt had always required me to shut my brain off for and I wouldn’t
have to do that anymore (for example, how literally Bible stories are
portrayed/believed, authorship of much of the New Testament).
My wife is upset at my loss of faith. We haven’t told anyone else yet. She
continues to believe, and as a result, I continue to be fully active, even
though I don’t believe. I don’t mind—I’m not angry at the Church like
some people are. There are good people in the Church, and it has a strong
community.
It’s hard to know how my faith crisis could have been prevented, or what
might help me rebuild my faith. The facts appear to be what they are, and
they do not logically add up to the Church being the one and only true
church. I never had a spiritual experience strong enough to ignore this
logic, despite desiring to.
‘There are some things that could make being associated with the Church
more palatable after my faith crisis. I don’t expect the Church would do
any of these suggestions.
1. Back off from the “one and only true church” rhetoric. Accept that
only a vanishingly small number of people will ever be Mormons, and
people can still be good and happy without the gospel (and conversely,
some people are not happy despite having the gospel).
2. Be more honest about the Church’s history. The Church tends to focus
solely on the faith promoting, and seems to worry more about how the
Church is perceived than about what 1s true. I would expect God’s
church to exemplify honesty.
3. People who drink are not bad people. Bare shoulders are not immodest.
Focus more on how we treat each other than on outward appearance.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 81
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $100,001 - $150,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD:
Before my crisis started, I would have done anything to show my faith
and follow church instruction. I agonized over whether I was reading my
scriptures well enough, fasting prayerfully enough, willing to sacrifice
enough.
The first little changes started after I’d been at BYU for about a year
and I started to realize how superficial and judgmental people (including
myself) were over things like how people dressed. I was in Anthropology,
and saw that standards of modesty and beauty actually vary from culture
to culture, and could not bring myself to believe that ours was the only
righteous way. I saw that to reject an entire song or movie because
of a swear word was simplistic, and contributed to keeping my mind
simplistic. We must be presented with situations that are upsetting, ones
that force us to think, in order to stretch ourselves and learn new things
instead of just regurgitating what we’ve been handed. My education in
this area continued when I switched to theater (after losing motivation
when an Archaeology professor told the class it was a bad profession for
mothers; an event that contributed further to my disillusionment later
on. I had wanted to be an archaeologist ever since I could remember). If
progression is knowledge, then how does fearing to question and stretch
cause us to progress? How can just doing as we’re told accomplish the
things God supposedly sent us here to do? These questions were already
forming when I experienced the major catalyst in my faith transition:
temple marriage.
If my bishop hadn’t warned me ahead of time that I would have to swear
to harken to my husband, I might not have made it through the ceremony.
As it was, I cried. And cried. Then and every time I went back, I felt like
Faith Crisis Profiles | 82
I had to kill something inside of myself every time I bowed my head and
said “yes.” I was distraught for days afterward. I had to get a blessing
from my husband to calm down. At this point it did not cross my mind to
question the church, but rather God. How could a God who sees me as
being as much of a human as my husband, and values my autonomy—MY
AGENCY—as much as his, require this of me? Was I really just meant to
be an extension of my husband for eternity? As much as people at church
say men and women are equal, the temple does not reflect this.
‘That was the beginning. I tried so hard to make things fit. But my
husband and I weren’t looking to find things wrong with the church. We
only wanted to do what we had been taught: study, learn, find the truth
and believe in it. We dove into church history. We studied the scriptures
in proper context. We studied the words of the prophets. And layer by
painful, exhilarating layer, our old beliefs were stripped away. What
was worse than finding out the facts was finding out how the church
consistently whitewashes its history and teaches people that things are
simple when they are not, that they have always been the way they are
at this moment when they have not, that leaders can’t make mistakes
when history shows the opposite. If the church were honest and realistic
about past mistakes and history, and truly willing to show it is the church
of continuing revelation it makes itself out to be, I would be more
comfortable attending.
Another distressing problem is the way church lessons focus on outward
observances, and measure faith by inches (sometimes literally) instead of
teaching love, acceptance, and charity like Christ did. It doesn’t matter
what the manuals actually say. This is how nearly every single lesson
trends. I went through a whole lesson on “Living Your Religion” once
where the teacher focused completely on wearing the right things, eating
the right things, and consuming appropriate media.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 83
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $50,001 - $100,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD:
I was in my early 20s when I left the church. I was very active, attending
all my meetings, fulfilling young single adult callings. I graduated from
BYU. I started reading Mormon history as a way to help a friend of mine
who had questions about Mormon beliefs. The more I read, the more
I found that “anti-mormon” sources were historically accurate and well
documented, while “faithful” sources obscured the truth or flat out lied.
‘That was the final straw for me; there are historical or doctrinal issues that
you can spin apologetically, but the fact that the church lies about it...
I couldn’t talk to friends or family about my faith crisis. I sat through
all the same lessons and I knew how apostates were treated or thought
of. I read a ton, both faithful and non faithful sources. I was on a ton of
different online groups. I got attacked in the Mormon chat rooms, even
though my questions were sincere and I hadn’t yet decided to leave
the church. I was called anti-Mormon and a sinner. I was reading about
Mormon history at least 8 hours a day. I wasn’t sleeping. My mom died
when I was 15, and I can say unequivocally that my faith crisis was worse.
When you are a faithful Mormon, it’s your whole identity. I had nothing. I
was nothing. It was a very bad year or so.
I was able to keep my disaffection from my family for a long while. I
lived far away from them. The church still found me. The missionaries
told me I was proud and rebellious and just wanted to sin. An old young
women’s leader told me my dead mother would be ashamed of me. When
my family found out, my grandmother said I was too lazy to be a Mormon,
and my sister wouldn’t see me for a couple of years. Luckily, by the time
I was having these conversations with my family, I was (mostly) not angry
anymore. This allowed me to respond, not to what they said (which was
Faith Crisis Profiles | 84
horrible, unfeeling, inappropriate,etc.), but what they should have said, or
what they meant. I’ve been on the other side. I know that they love me
and fear for my immortal soul. They actually believe that I am led away
by Satan and deceived, and they are trying to save me.
Since then, three of my siblings have left the church, so the evil apostates
are now the majority. If the church had been more open about its
unsavory history, I think that might have prevented my faith crisis, but it’s
a fine line to walk: teach too much, and people leave because of the early
doctrines; teach too little and when people find out about the deception,
they leave.
At this point, there is nothing that could restore my faith. 1am a much
happier, more fulfilled person outside of the church.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 85
ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $100,001 - $150,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer
CALLINGS HELD: Gospel Doctrine ‘Teacher, Young Men’s
Presidency, Ward Mission Leader, Elder’s
Quorum Presidency, Stake Auxiliary Calling,
Bishopric Councilor
I became an avid student of history (early Christian, LDS and American)
shortly after returning from my mission. This desire sprang forth after
attending the “Know Your Religion” series, consisting of academic guest
speakers over a period of several years. Yet during my LDS studies,
I encountered numerous discrepancies in history or doctrine. I either
researched and accepted the apologist answers or “set it on my mental
shelf” to analyze later. This was easy, as I was a member of FARMs and
reviewed FAIR frequently. I was confident that “someone” in those
groups would soon provide the answers that my soul yearned. I proceeded
to serve in a wide variety of callings (i.e. EQ presidency, YM Presidency,
Gospel Doctrine teacher, Ward Mission Leader, etc.) During my tenure
in a bishopric, I had the opportunity to answer (apologetically) some of
the “historical” issues, mostly dealing polygamy and Masonic influences
with the temple. Yet, some of those answers did not set well with me.
Immediately after I was released from the bishopric, I was once called
again to be the Gospel Doctrine teacher. I used the correlated materials,
but fervently sought for the stories and circumstances behind the
doctrines and Church history. My objective was to provide more insight
and identify the circumstances of the scriptures we were studying that
week, whether it was a moral story, a revelation or doctrine. This was also
the time to allow myself to address all that divergent information that had
been building up, “on my mental shelf.” Yet, this additional study and
prayer opened my eyes to so much more. Additional issues surfaced that
became too many to ignore or rationalize.
I became a zealous “seeker of truth,” in addition to being a “defender
of the faith.” By this time, I was a voracious reader which took me
through numerous volumes, including History of ‘The Church, Journal of
Faith Crisis Profiles | 86
Discourses, Doctrines of Salvation, Lectures on Faith, Teachings of the
Prophet Joseph Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Mormon Doctrine, and so
many more. I studied more to “prove” that what I had known was really
the truth...that those discrepancies were really all in error. I even limited
myself to just the books written by General Authorities. Yet the more I
studied, the more evidence surfaced that brought me to a conclusion that
I never expected and more importantly DID NOT SEEK. Fundamental
confirmation was realized and the truth became painfully obvious. I
eventually arrived at a point where I couldn’t reconcile the disparity
between what the church taught as its history, its true history, and the
evolution of its doctrine.
I felt an incredible sense of betrayal. Especially when I was expected
to “be honest in my dealings with my fellow man,” when the very
organization asking me at my temple recommend interview was not
honest in its correlated doctrinal and historical teachings.
I generally find that my family and friends to be supportive. My local
ward leadership are convinced that I have either “sinned, desire to sin,
have problems with my marriage, or am offended.” They refuse to listen
and have cut off all contact with my family at all levels. Even when I see
members in the community, they act like we do not exist.
It is hard to maintain a relationship with the Church when you are treated
like “persona non-grata”. Additionally, I no longer believe Joseph Smith’s
divine calling as God’s prophet, once | learned the truth about him.
I am not sure that anything could have prevented my faith transition.
‘The Church taught me to seek for truth. I did so using the Church’s own
materials. I can thank the Church for encouraging me to do so. Although,
I regret not passionately doing so earlier in my life.
Nothing can restore my faith in the LDS Church. The evidence ts clear
that they are engaged in a pattern of deception and fraud to continually
mislead their own members and the public. They may consider following
the example of the Community of Christ by acknowledging their history,
removing harmful practices, and eliminating non-Christian scripture and
doctrines. I have moved onto a new understanding of faith.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 87
ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $200,000+
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary
I have been a lifelong, fully active member of the church. Up until a
year ago, I was an ardent defender of the church and would characterize
anything negative—or what I perceived to be negative—as “anti” and
would dismiss it without much thought.
More recently, as I would read stories about the church and browse the
comments section, I would invariably find comments over and over that
portrayed Joseph Smith or the Church in a negative light. I can’t say when
exactly it happened, but slowly and surely the first seeds of doubt crept
in as I, without really understanding what was taking place, began to let
myself wonder why people would make these comments about the Book
of Abraham, polygamy, multiple accounts of the First Vision, the Book of
Mormon translation process.
‘Then, one day about a year ago, an old high school acquaintance (who I
later learned had gone through their own faith crisis and had recently left
the church) posted a link to a Mormon Stories podcast on her Facebook
page. Having never heard of Mormon Stories, I went to the site and
listened to the podcast. I couldn’t get enough and listened to several other
episodes over the course of the next few months. During this time, I was
introduced to much of the history of the church that I never knew existed,
much of it which was deeply troubling and not in-line with the church
that I had known throughout my life.
All of this is happening at a time when I had three young kids, with twins
on the way. At this point, as I continue in the midst of my faith crisis, I
am still trying to process how to proceed and what my next steps of action
might be. I have yet to tell my significant other as to the road I have
traveled over the past year and am fearful what that discussion might
bring. At the same time, I feel like it is all coming to a boil and I feel that
Faith Crisis Profiles | 88
I will need to discuss these issues with her soon—not only for my personal
sake, but also for how we may wish to address some of these issues with
our children (assuming I do decide to stay in the church.)
Stumbling upon these issues was very disconcerting, and in many ways,
has left me somewhat angry. The trust I had in the church, and the
leaders, is gone. I no longer look at the church with rose colored glasses
and probably never will. While I feel there is some good in the church,
my personal character leaves me wondering if I will be able to hang on, as
I am slowly coming to the realization that the truth claims of the church,
and many of the foundational events in church history, likely are not true
and didn’t happen.
Going through a faith crisis is not something I ever wanted or thought
would happen to me. In some ways I wish I could put the genie back in
the bottle, but I’m afraid even if I can hold onto some strings of faith, my
“testimony” of the gospel and of the church will never be the same.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 89
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $50,001 - $100,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: Some College
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD:
Before my faith crisis, I was a fully active, full tithe paying, temple
recommend holding member. I started questioning things when I heard
from somewhere else that there was more than one version of the First
Vision, and that they all had different elements. I looked it up on LDS.
org and they mentioned four versions and it said that the reason for that
is because of who was relating what Joseph told them. That satisfied
me for a while, until I heard that Joseph Smith married wives of other
men. I found evidence of that in genealogical websites myself and after
that, it started crumbling pretty quickly. I had been taught growing up
that I would have to take part in polygamy in order to reach the celestial
kingdom, so once other things started crumbling, it became a huge relief
to think that maybe it’s not “the one true church.”
I have very mixed feelings as I am still in the beginning stages, but I have
made a few changes. I don’t wear my garments as frequently and that has
been a positive change. Immediately I felt more confidence and I felt
more feminine. It was nice to feel like a woman rather than a shapless
blob. It has been freeing to think that it’s okay to not believe in the
church and what it teaches. More things make sense now (why would God
want to wait so long to give blacks the priesthood? Why doesn’t God care
about how women are affected by the doctrine/culture of the church?). I
still love the members of our ward and would find it hard to leave, only
because of that.
My husband is right there with me and 1s having a faith crisis of his own.
We haven’t told our families or friends yet.
I don’t know if there is anything that could rebuild my faith. For now, I
will go to church for the social aspect but like I said, if we were to move,
I'd probably take that opportunity to be done with the church.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $200,000+
EDUCATION LEVEL: Some College
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Gospel Doctrine ‘Teacher, Young Men’s
President, Elder’s Quorum Presidency, Elder’s
Quorum President
Church meetings were so boring. I hated going to church and started
to ask myself why. This led to asking if I really believed all of what the
church teaches. I started researching church history and discovered that
the real history is quite different from what I learned in church, seminary
and at BYU.
My wife was wary at first, but pretty soon I convinced her, and our kids,
my brothers, and their kids that the church was not true. We are all much
happier now. I have an abiding love for the people in the church, but
the institutional church is bereft of soul. The church’s positions on gays,
women, literalness of scripture, evolution, and exclusive truth claims
would have to change for me to consider returning. I will never donate a
nickel to a charity that doesn’t disclose how the money is used and how
much leaders and management are paid.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 50 - 64
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $150,001 - $200,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Convert of more than five years
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Young Men’s Presidency,
Young Men’s President, Elder’s Quorum
Presidency, Elder’s Quorum President, High
Priest Leader, Bishopric Councilor
I was a faithful member since I got baptized at age 14. Served a mission,
was an Elder’s Quorum President several times, councilor in two
Bishoprics, and currently serve on the High Council. My loss of faith
started first by events in my life as well in general that made me wonder
if God really answered prayers and cared about us. I was in Iraq in 2006-7
and saw things that made me question many things about how I saw God.
I served as the servicemen group leader in Fallujah and also felt a great
connection to other LDS service men. I had two sons on missions while
I was gone. I did come home injured and with some P'TSD issues. Two
years after my return, my oldest daughter took her own life. Part of the
reason was because she had messed up in her younger years and the guilt
she felt because of the church and many of it’s members was too much for
her. She would call me and ask me to try to talk her out of ending it many
times. We prayed very hard for her and things never got better. I was at a
loss when this happened.
I love history and started studying some church history on the computer.
Blacks and the priesthood was one of the first things and I saw many
things wrong with what I had been taught and how things really were.
‘The three witnesses came next and the same thing. As I read one thing,
another issue would come up, Joseph Smith and all his wives and their
issues, the Book of Abraham, the different First Vision accounts, and
many more. None of this is taught at church nor is it talked about in
General Conference. I felt like the church had lied about some things,
whitewashed others, and misrepresented many things in art and in every
aspect. I also felt like I had done the same on my mission and most of
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my church life. I did it out of not knowing the truth. I think that is true
for most ordinary members but I am sure the top leaders know the real
history and that is what makes it so troubling for me.
I have shared my doubts with some people. My wife is very nervous about
all this and doesn’t want to talk about it and it has caused some pain for
both of us. I talked to my Stake President and told him of a few of my
doubts and the difficulty of doing my calling on the High Council but told
him I would only continue in my calling if I could only teach the things I
am comfortable with and that I would try to gear my messages to others
who are struggling, and he has agreed to this, and in fact, has encouraged
me to do this. Many people I talk to don’t want to hear about all this and I
never push it.
‘There are days when I think I can make all this work. I don’t believe
much of what the church teaches but I see a lot of good in the church and
many of the doctrines I would like to believe or at least have hope in.
Other days I am ready to walk away and never look back. I stay for now
because of my family and because of friends from church and because I
think I can help others that are struggling. I want to help others still go
to church and be part of the community even if they don’t believe all the
church teaches.
If the church wants to keep me, they have to come clean with our past
and stop pretending it is perfect. I can accept flaws but I don’t want to be
lied to. The top leaders need to be the one to tell about the seer stones
in the hat, that the ban on the priesthood was wrong. They need to get
out of the bedrooms. They need to be more transparent about tithing
and stop making it all about the money. The church needs to be honest. I
want to make it work.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $50,001 - $100,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: Graduate School
MEMBER TYPE: Convert of more than five years
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Gospel Doctrine Teacher
I was raised in an orthodox, active LDS home. I earned my Eagle Scout
and Duty to God. I graduated from seminary, went to institute, and
served a full time mission where I served as an assistant to the president.
After coming home from my mission, I went to BYU and got married in
the temple. I served in many callings and I had an orthodox testimony.
I developed an interest in church history which first led to me reading
the institute manual “Church History in the Fullness of Time.” This
interest soon blossomed into an intense academic study. I would read a
lot of primary source material and what I learned starkly contrasted the
narrative that I had been raised with in the Church. Most notably was
the deconstruction of what is currently a major pillar in the orthodox
religious narrative presented by the Church, namely that the prophet
would not lead us astray. Like most members, I was raised with the caveat
that a prophet is only a prophet when speaking as such. But I did not
truly understand how often the prophets had been wrong, sometimes for
decades at a time. I was not aware that things that were once accepted
and taught by the prophets as doctrine sometime completely contradicted
what is taught by the prophets of today. The fact that past prophets would
teach something as revelation that turned out to be not true made it clear
that the leaders of the Church could not always distinguish between what
is revelation from god and what is not. This caused me to come to the
conclusion that if the prophets of a prior generation could be wrong about
something that they often taught as doctrine, then our current leaders
could also be wrong. Not only did this new information undermine what
I had thought was a core tenant to Mormonism, but it also disturbed me
that this information seemed suppressed by the Church. The primary
sources that supported this information would be quickly dismissed as
anti Mormon if I ever brought up my questions to others. It seemed
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unethical that the Church would teach us to have unflinching obedience
to our leaders if the they can not reliably recognize revelation. While I
could understand strict obedience to a perfect god, it was quite obvious
that our human leaders were very imperfect at interpreting the will of
a perfect god. Suggesting that what the prophet said was directly from
god seemed like a dangerous proposition—a proposition that was not
historically reputable.
Learning this information was one of the hardest events of my life. I
felt betrayed by a Church that I had devoted my life to. When family
members would learn about my questioning, instead of being approached
with a desire to understand, I would be called to repent and to be humble.
People didn’t understand that I could not forget the information I learned.
I see much good and truth in the church, and I still have a desire to be
a part of the Church and to participate in a way that is authentic to what
I discovered. However, I have found a lot of resistance. A predominate
mentality that made me feel unwelcome was the emphasis on orthodoxy
and the harsh rhetoric against those who cannot fully believe the standard
narrative presented by the Church. For many people I encountered,
following the rules was not enough. ‘To them, I could not be a cafeteria
Mormon and pick and choose what I believed. However, that is the
only way that I can be a part of the Church. I am still struggling to find
my place, which I am finding out is difficult in a very black or white all
or nothing Church. People say that they want me at Church, but their
invitation rings hollow when the same people criticize those who question
while in Sunday school.
I have two suggestions for the Church. Love people for who they are and
not for who you hope they become. Stop with the all or nothing mentality
because a single chink in the narrative can bring it all down.
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ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $50,001 - $100,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Relief Society Presidency
It’s been about two years since my husband and I experienced our faith
transition. We are both life-long members with pioneer stock. We started
to reevaluate our faith when my husband began reading Rough Stone
Rolling. There were many things in the book that were either brand new
to us or contrary to what we had each learned growing up in seminary
and institute. We then found Mormon Stories when my husband listened
to Daymon Smith’s interview focusing on correlation and the corporate
church. Slowly, things began to unravel the more we learned about early
church history and about how things work in the church’s corporate
hierarchy.
As a result of my husband being the first to lose his faith, I began having
anxiety and panic attacks that I had never had before. I worried we would
get a divorce, was worried I was losing my eternal family, and was petrified
as to how my family and church community would treat me if they found
out. I knew divorce wasn’t an option so I began to research things with my
husband. We have been able to go through this journey together.
Neither of us would consider ourselves literal believers anymore—
meaning, we don’t know if Joseph Smith really saw God the Father and
Jesus Christ (result of discovering there were multiple accounts of the
First Vision). We don’t know if the Book of Mormon is an actual historical
text (we leave room that the teachings held in them may be divine
revelation—just not an actual translation). We are very doubtful that
polygamy was ever divinely inspired—we think it was more likely a cover
up for Joseph Smith’s scandals.
We follow the actual Word of Wisdom now more then we ever have (we
eat more vegetarian meals, more fruits/veggies, more healthy grains,
we've been exercising more and trying to get more rest, but we do drink
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beer and wine on occasion which when reading the Word of Wisdom
is okay). We do not pay tithing to the church anymore because the
church is not transparent with its finances the way it is supposed to be
(according to the D&C), and we take big issue with the church building
the most expensive real estate development in history—and it’s a mall
(City Creek) across the street from the temple. We instead pay tithing
to charities and organizations who have financial transparency and where
the money goes directly to those in need. We are both Mormon Feminist
and are advocates for women having an equal voice within the church. We
denounce the church’s current way of teaching modesty/chastity/virtue,
because we feel it is done using shame and guilt and causes more damage
than uplifting people. And we support equal rights for LGB’T'Q’s (gays).
We firmly believe that the tent of Mormonism is in desperate need
of expansion. We feel that the church needs to be more proactive in
upholding the eleventh article of faith, which reads, “We claim the
privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own
conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how,
where, or what they may.”
We recognize that many of the issues we have with the Church stem from
Mormon culture but that many of the issues within Mormon culture are a
result of the general leadership of the church.
We love the teachings of the Savior—to have charity, which is the pure
love of Christ.
In a nut shell, we call ourselves Mormon Agnostics. We love Mormon
doctrine and have faith that there is a God, but we will no longer use
language like “we know the (fill in the blank) is true.” We say this
because we haven’t seen God and can’t KNOW—but we can have faith.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $150,001 - $200,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Gospel Doctrine
‘Teacher, Young Men’s Presidency, Young
Men’s President, Elder’s Quorum Presidency,
Bishopric Councilor
I have been very active in the church all my life. I served a mission,
married in the temple, paid my tithing, and served in various leadership
positions. My loss of faith started when I saw a video on You Tube
regarding the Book of Abraham. I thought the video was a bunch of lies,
but upon studying the issue, I discovered it all to be true. It was the
church that had lied and been less than truthful with me all these years.
During my research of the Book of Abraham, I came across numerous
other issues. I felt like I was walking in a mine field, and bombs were
blowing up on me with every step I took. Some of the additional
“bombs” that blew up on me include polygamy and polyandry, numerous
versions of the first vision (and discovering it was never shared with
anyone by Joseph Smith for at least 10 years after the event occurred),
Free Masonry and its influence on the temple ceremony, Joseph Smith
and his involvement in magic and the occult (looking for treasure and
translating the Book of Mormon using the same method), no mention
of the priesthood restoration until many years later (and back dating
and retrofitting the Doctrine & Covenants to include it), the true facts
surrounding Joseph Smith and his death (he was not a martyr), the
Kirtland Bank scandal, Book of Mormon issues (lack of any linguistic,
archeological, DNA, acronyms), blacks and the priesthood, treatment of
women, and lack of transparency with regards to how my tithing dollars
are being used are just a few of the issues I have.
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I felt horrible when I learned the truth and when my “eyes were opened”
to these facts hidden from me all these years. I felt deceived and duped.
I had always just trusted church leaders, never imagining they were not
being completely honest with me.
I spent months keeping all of this information to myself. I dared not
tell my wife and kept researching, hoping I would find satisfactory
explanations for my issues. I finally came to the painful conclusion that
the church is not what it claims to be and decided to share my findings
with my wife. I knew she would take the news hard, but she refused to
listen to me and let me explain my findings. The idea that the church may
not be all it pretends to be was too much for her and she could not process
or handle it. She had me call my parents and talk to them, and had me
go to my bishop. My bishop could not help with my issues. He told me
I needed to read and pray about the Book of Mormon. I have tried this,
but when I read it, I see all the errors and issues that were previously
unknown to me. It is not that remarkable of a book after studying it
knowing the influences of the Bible in it, the use of material common
to Joseph Smith at the time he wrote it, and lessons and experiences
common to his own life.
It has now been over a year since my crisis. I go to church every week for
my family. I like the Mormon people and the church does a lot of good,
but it is not “the one and only true church of God.” I stopped paying
tithing and have no desire to go to the temple. This has created extreme
stress in my marriage as my wife still believes and is not too interested in
my concerns.
I still believe in God and believe that my faith in Jesus Christ will save
me at the last day. I love Him, try to serve Him, and honor Him. I try to
do this while attending the Mormon church.
Some of the pain could have been prevented by the church being more
honest and straightforward with regards to its history. I don’t think I will
ever have the same faith in the Mormon church as I had before learning
the truth. It has been painful, but learning the truth has “set me free.”
My eyes are open, and I am no longer deceived.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $100,001 - $150,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: Doctorate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Temple Worker, Eldetr’s
Quorum Presidency
My faith prior to my faith crisis was fully-believing, yet accommodating of
some metaphorical events (i.e., Adam and Eve, global flood). I observed
all of the church rules with occasional transgressions, similar to most
active members.
I lost my faith because I found that the historical and scientific reality
of church history differed from the narrative as taught by the church,
the official church had no answers, and the apologetic groups often had
unreasonable or downright crazy answers. I had the most problems with
foundational claims such as Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon.
Attempts at communicating these issues to the leadership are deflected
back to the local level or unofficial apologetic groups which are often ill-
suited to addressing these issues.
I felt lied to and deceived. This was difficult because the church leaders
require honesty and huge sacrifices of its members yet will not hold
themselves to the same standard.
Most of my family and friends in the church tried to help me but were ill-
informed themselves and so they could not. Also, when I tried discussing
the issues in-depth, they did not want to hear about it, citing that they felt
a “loss of the spirit.” They had already determined that the issues were
anti-Mormon.
After a major period of inactivity (6 years) I returned to church, mostly
due to the helpful podcasts of John Dehlin and Dan Wotherspoon who
helped me construct a framework from the broken pieces of my former
black and white worldview.
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My faith will never be what it once was, which is probably a good thing.
It is more flexible, fluid, symbolic, and rich. I have more compassion for
outsiders and people of other faiths. I attend church on a regular basis. I
am not compelled to attend for family reasons since I am a single guy. I
have always had a deep attraction to LDS theology, which perhaps also
helped me come back.
Had the church leaders taught me the real version of church history
while growing up, I would have not experienced my faith crisis. It is
ridiculous that I could be born and raised in the church, attend seminary,
institute, BYU, and go on a mission, yet never know about the real version
of church history. The church leaders should NOT be afraid to tell the
truth and let the consequence follow. It can be done in a faith-promoting
manner in most instances. In instances where past church leaders were
clearly in the wrong, church leaders should admit to the mistakes and
apologize for them. I think that they will be surprised at how well that
would be received by the general membership. We are adults here - adults
tell the truth, apologize for wrongs, and take ownership. The church
leaders should try it sometime. They might be amazed at the amount of
healing and goodwill such actions would generate.
For me to stay engaged with the church, the leaders must embrace and
own our past, admit and apologize for our wrongs, move forward into the
future utilizing divine revelation to make a more inclusive church with
high standards yet focusing on love, service, and egalitarianism. Let’s
teach a little more of the meat as well for those who want and need it.
Constant milk can lead to spiritual starvation.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $200,000+
EDUCATION LEVEL: Doctorate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, ‘Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Young Men’s Presidency,
Young Men’s President, Ward Mission Leader,
Elder’s Quorum Presidency, High Priest
Leader, Stake Auxiliary Calling, Bishopric
Councilor
I was fully invested before my shelf collapsed. I discovered the correlated
version of Mormonism did not meet many of my basic needs, both logical
and spiritual. Over the period of three years, I spent thousands of hours
reading Church history related books, web sites, and discussion forums. I
eventually graduated to New Testament & near-eastern scholarship. I also
research archeology, evolution, language history, Egyptology, comparative
religious studies, cult research, Christian apologetic, Jewish history, US
history (reformation) -- native-American research, DNA studies, Masonic
& Rosicrucian ceremonies, Ancient “secret society” rituals -- I pretty
much dug into anything I felt I didn’t understand or no longer accepted
the correlated version I was fed throughout my life.
I remain devastated. I was systematically lied to by people I trusted. I
maintain a certain level of (shielded) anger during any discussion about
Mormonism. I cannot fully disclose my level of skepticism with family
and extended family due to my desire to remain a participating member
in family ritual. If I were to be fully honest about my current agnosticism,
the house of cards artificially propped up by guarded secrecy would
come crashing down. I can accept that... | own my dishonesty for self-
preservation.
I am often queried in church settings for historical or doctrinal accuracy,
q & a
I find it easy to answer most any question with the preface of “according
to x” or “referenced in y” and maintain personal integrity. At times, I
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get frustrated by discussions of a literal existence of mythical figures ie..
Adam & Eve, race & gender issues, conservative politics & gun control. I
overcome the desire to humiliate individuals with overtly naive beliefs by
remembering the path my children took overcoming belief in beings such
as the Bogey Man, the ‘Tooth Fairy & Santa Clause... I have adopted a
philosophy where everyone is on their own path to enlightenment—theirs
is not mine to adjust..
My hope is that the Church openly accepts those with alternate views,
embraces those with divergent ideas, and ceases the effort to slam
every square peg in a round hole. I am caught in a paradox where my
children are being exposed to UN-correlated church history at home,
and a very correlated version at church. With my influence, my version is
winning, the result being—they are developing a general distrust of any
information they are being taught in a church setting.. Breaks my heart
they will not have the same positive experience in youth conferences,
EFY’s, camp-outs, missions, etcetera.. because I refuse to enable the
church in overtly dis-honest behaviors.
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ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $100,001 - $150,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Gospel Doctrine
‘Teacher, Young Men’s Presidency, Elder’s
Quorum Presidency
I remember the exact moment my testimony finally crashed. I was reading
Mormon 9 where Moroni is talking about the spiritual gifts of Christ’s
followers. I suddenly realized that the words I was reading were word-
for-word from the King James Gospel of Mark. Not only that, they were
from the forged ending that was added 200 years after the fact. Suddenly,
after decades of trying to hammer all of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle
together, it all made sense. The word of God is so full of flaws because it
is the word of Man.
I am a fourth-generation Mormon, returned missionary, married in the
temple. I was fully active and striving to be an ideal Mormon, father and
priesthood holder in every way. I had encountered a number of things that
tried my faith over the years but was able to push them aside. Eventually
I needed better answers and immersed myself in apologetic answers from
FARMS and FAIR. After 20 years of apologetic research and extreme
effort to keep my faith, I finally came to the realization that apologetics is
nothing more than the making of excuses for things that simply don’t hold
up to scrutiny and reason. It is anti- science, starting with a conclusion and
fishing for evidence to support it.
I have told a few people about my faith crisis. Some get angry and
basically tell me to “get in line or get out.” Others deny that I have lost
my testimony and tell me that I just need to bear it more frequently
because “a testimony is found on your feet bearing it not on your knees
praying for it.” I tell them that this seems like I’m being told to bear
false witness until I have said it loudly enough and in front of enough
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people that I will start believing it myself. I am still fairly active in the
church and my bishop has been very understanding and supportive (he
even granted me a temple recommend), as has my wife. But they cannot
understand what it is like to be outside the box looking back in, having
seen both sides.
I have tried so hard to be open minded and keep my feet in both worlds.
I have tried to find value in the symbolism, but I am told over and over
again that nuanced faith is unacceptable, that I must believe it all literally.
I try to stay active, but I have difficulty keeping warm feelings for a
church that has intentionally covered up historical facts, keeps its finances
opaque, and values obedience over truth and individual integrity. I don’t
make any attempt to destroy the faith of others, but I wish they would
take the time to ask themselves some tough questions and do some
honest research. I feel that the church creates its own problem by making
people feel disloyal for doubting or looking for answers. When they do
stumble across problems, they feel that the church has been disingenuous.
If the church wants people like me to find their faith again they must stop
treating their members like children. They must tell the whole truth,
they must find the integrity to apologize for their mistakes and they must
dedicate themselves to the standard of honesty they demand of their
members.
I will start to listen again when the church takes its cue from the Seventh
Day Adventists and other reputable religions and publishes an honest and
transparent accounting of its finances.
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ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $50,001 - $100,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Young Women’s Presidency, Young Women’s
President, Full-time Missionary
I was fully active (still am) prior to my “faith crisis.” A couple of years ago,
I set a goal to increase my testimony of Joseph Smith and the early history
of the church. So, I began studying church history. I became troubled by
the incongruousness of what I was reading verses what I was taught in
church (polygamy, Book of Abraham, temple history, Book of Mormon
translation, etc.)
At that time, I had several close family members and friends chose to
leave the church over these historical issues as well as other controversial
issues such as Blacks and the priesthood, Prop 8, etc. I respect these
people very much and their disaffection really affected me. For the first
time, I was really honest with myself about my beliefs and let myself
admit doubts I'd been shelving for many years and new doubts I'd
discovered since learning more about church history.
Over the course of two years, my testimony slowly unraveled. It has been
extremely sad and devastating to my sense of identity and purpose in
life. 1 DID NOT want this to happen, I tried desperately to stop it from
happening. But once you learn the truths about the foundation of our
church, you can’t unlearn them. For example, I cannot look at Joseph
Smith the same after learning the details of polygamy and polyandry. And
once I began to doubt his character, the unraveling began.
I still live worthy of a temple recommend, and I have one. I am employed
by a church affiliated institution, which has made my faith transition
rather complicated. I have no desire to leave the church, I see so much
good in it. Itis my heritage and I am proud of that. But I suffer from
Faith Crisis Profiles | 106
tremendous cognitive dissonance when I try to align what I still hear and
learn at church with what I feel inside.
My crisis began with church-related issues, but eventually led to me
questioning the bigger issues, such as how and if God really intervenes
in our lives. I used to feel so much comfort believing Heavenly Father
watched our every move and answered our small prayers (such as where
I put the car keys). But I no longer believe that a loving supreme being
would help me find my keys but let a child be abused at that same
moment. I am very lost as to how I view my relationship with God
anymore, and that has caused me a lot of sorrow.
I have never suffered from depression before, but I just decided to
finally see a Counselor to help me through this because I am definitely
struggling with depression, and I can trace it right back to the beginning
of this journey for me. I am not angry nor do I feel I’ve been intentionally
betrayed, I am just deeply sad and quite frankly, very confused.
I keep my faith crisis mostly to myself. I will not tell my bishop because
of my church-affiliated job. I don’t want to risk my job. I don’t tell my
family because I don’t want to disappoint my parents or spark a faith crisis
for my siblings. I have a few good friends who I open up to and they are
good listeners.
My relationship with the church is this...I go, am active, but my heart isn’t
in it all the way. I feel the spirit some Sundays, others I am disappointed
with the lessons and comments, and feel the church lacks authenticity.
We act as though there is a “recipe” for happiness, but I’ve learned that
checking things off the obedience list doesn’t always bring the expected
list of blessings or happiness. I feel most members put on an act, and hide
their doubts. I feel I would get more out of church if we were honest with
each other and really helped each other work through out doubts rather
than putting up a beautiful display on the relief society table and leading
a lecture that feels more like a guilt trip.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 107
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 18 - 24
HOUSEHOLD INCOME:
EDUCATION LEVEL: High School Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Young Women’s Presidency
I’m a true-blooded, fully active member of the LDS church who 1s about
to graduate High School. For as long as I can remember, I have done
everything I was supposed to—prayed, paid tithing, read scriptures, had
high seminary and church attendance, followed all of the commandments
to a T. Yet also, for as long as I can remember, I have not held a testimony
of the LDS Church. For 18 long years, I’ve felt damaged and broken,
because I couldn’t get the witness that everyone else was getting—and I
was expending much more effort.
I will never forget one of the most monumental days in my life: the time
my mother (a life-long member as well) told me she did not believe in
the LDS church and hadn’t for five years. Having always been taught that
everyone truly KNEW the gospel was right, but wasn’t always willing to
live it, this shocked me. Previously, I had never stopped to consider that
the reason that I didn’t get a witness was because it wasn’t true. I always
felt it was my fault.
‘This led me to research, to look into the Church’s history and doctrines. I,
like many others, wasn’t pleased with what I found. Stories and facts that,
although not denied by the church, were hidden from its members. I felt
betrayed, lied to, and most of all, angry. How could a church that I had
dedicated my life to, that had controlled my childhood, lie to me like this?
Currently, Iam still an active member, waiting either for a witness or for
the day where I can be free from the direction of my local leaders.
I anticipate that when I make the decision to leave the church, the
consequences will not be benign. It will likely cause a divorce for my
parents; I will be shunned by my extended family and friends. I could
lose everything—all because I was concerned for my own happiness.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 108
ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: $100,001 - $150,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: Doctorate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Full-time Missionary, Gospel Doctrine
‘Teacher, Young Men’s Presidency, Elder’s
Quorum Presidency, Elder’s Quorum President
My faith crisis began with the best faith promoting intentions. After
becoming somewhat stagnate by hearing the same lessons and stories
year after year in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings, I wanted to dig
deeper and find out more about the early leaders of the church. At this
point, I was serving as ward financial clerk, full tithe payer, and attending
the temple monthly. I began reading more and more about early church
history from both LDS sources and non-LDS but nevertheless historical
sources. I tried to avoid anything that had an obvious anti-Mormon
agenda. But even with this goal, some of the findings I came across with
surprising and confusing. As I learned of the Kinderhook Plates, Book of
Mormon anachronisms and especially the Book of Abraham origins, doubt
began to grow. I continued to read, even trying to counter what I was
reading with the apologetic at FAIR and FARMS. Their words seemed
far reaching and unconvincing, and the doubt continued to grow. At this
point I decided to take it to what I thought at that time was the ultimate
resource, I prayed. I prayed over and over again, even one point going into
a wooded area like Joseph Smith in order to receive an answer that these
doubts were silly and for me to remain faithful. After dozens of attempts
the answer never came. I confided in my wife, who still to this day
remains active LDS, and ultimately with my Bishop. After a few meetings
with him, none of which resolved any of my concerns, I decided to ask
to be released from all callings, including home teaching. As my doubt of
Mormonism grew, so did the doubt of Christianity and the existence of
any sort of Diety.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 109
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $25,001 - $50,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Young Women’s Presidency, Primary
Presidency, Stake Auxiliary Calling
Before my crisis of faith, I was very active, though I have always been
a ‘spirit of the law’ nota ‘letter of the law’ person. I am actually still
‘active,’ but that comes because I feel called to fix things from the inside
out so I stay even through I am vehemently opposed to many practices
and do not agree with certain widely accepted interpretations of doctrine.
Ultimately, my faith loss stems from the oppression of women in the
church. Our practices do not match our rhetoric or our historical practices.
Our teaching of ‘eternal salvation through proper gender roles’ makes
me physically ill. In our home, we teach true equality and the idea that
my children are learning these outdated views makes it hard for me to let
them attend church despite feeling that I need to be there to help end the
problem. This is a problem I struggle with every single Sunday without
exception.
‘The interesting thing about my faith crisis is that as I have shared my
views, others have shared their own misgivings about the current state
of affairs in the LDS church. Some are initially defensive about some of
my issues with the church, but very few are still so defensive after fully
talking through the issues. I have found mostly support from friends,
family and church leaders. It seems like there are many people who want
to see change they are just too afraid to speak up on their own.
I still attend church, but I practice my faith on my own terms. I am
accountable to no one other than my Heavenly Parents and they are
the only source I look to for confirmation of my beliefs and actions.
‘There are some things I do that would seem very ‘wrong’ to ‘letter of
the law’ members, but I know through my own study and prayer that I
Faith Crisis Profiles | 110
am making the decisions that are best for me and my family. By making
these decisions based on personal revelation, I am also able to do more to
serve others because my personal needs are being better met. If women
held equal status and authority in the church, I likely never would have
had a faith crisis. However, my faith crisis has made me a more kind,
compassionate, service oriented person, and I know these changes have
brought my life into better harmony with the teachings of Christ during
his ministry. I judge less and love more; I have greater faith in trials,
and I engage life more fully because I no longer have the ‘safety net’ of
blind belief and obedience restricting my access to inspiration. I look to
God instead of ‘man,’ even when those men are well meaning church
leaders. People, no matter how well intentioned, are still people and make
horrible, terrible, hurtful mistakes. I did a lot of harm to myself and those
around me by being blindly obedient and acting against what I knew in
my heart and my mind to be true and correct principles. Since my crisis of
faith this is no longer an issue. I have regained control of my life and have
built a relationship with my Heavenly Parents that is stronger than I ever
knew was possible because I rely on them first instead of relying on some
other person to interpret Their will for me.
I do not think I will ever have the same view of the church that I did in
my younger years. I have seen past the shallow and twisted histories we
are taught and I cannot truly respect an organization that has so little
respect for its members or deity to be so cavalier with both history and
doctrine. However, I will feel like great progress has been made when
women are ordained to the priesthood. All of the other issues I have with
the church I feel will be eventually remedied once faithful women are
allowed to serve in all levels of church leadership.
Faith Crisis Profiles \ 111
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $50,001 - $100,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Relief Society Presidency, ‘Temple Worker,
Sunday School Teacher, Primary ‘Teacher,
Primary Music, Nursery
I have been a lifelong, faithful, highly active TBM (‘True Believing
Mormon) member. I have never gone inactive or been less than
significantly faithful. I have always maintained high morals. I discovered
some of the church’s is deceptions initially quite incidentally. I believe
God is a God of truth and love. I believe in seeking truth, which I was
taught in church and thought I would have nothing to fear and that
a mature mind could work it out. Life is complex and people are not
perfect. I was devastated to learn of the breadth and magnitude of
historical problems the church hides. I was also very disillusioned over
the handling of tithing, which I thought was going to serve the poor
temporally and spiritually. I have trusted the church my whole life. I
have been deceived in every important issue. I can deconstruct every
significant aspect using truth. Many of the deceptions we use to keep
rank and file in their place and acting like drones may seem like subtle
discrepancies, but they amount to clear unrighteous dominion when you
know the truth.
Every friend and family member I have is in the church. I love God
and want my kids to know him. I would LOVE to stay. However the
experience in the church has become so controlled and correlated that
neither I nor my husband have been getting anything uplifting from
the church in years. Just boring, boring, fear, fear, rules and domination.
Furthermore, so many aspects are tragic deceptions purveyed by great
innocent people who faithfully carry the given curriculum and it can
be very painful to watch. Furthermore, I wish to love people like God
Faith Crisis Profiles | 112
loves people and I feel impeded every week with our narrow minds and
judgmental beliefs, which change at a glacial pace.
Leaving the people I love and invested in will be the most tragic
experience of my life and will come at GREAT cost to my relationships.
My extended family will suffer in utter shock and totally freak and our
relationships will never be the same. All my social support is in the
church. Our teachings shun and ostracize those with diversity of beliefs or
doubt of any kind. They penalize those who know and embrace truth and
provide NO VALID (non violent) EXIT FROM THE CHURCH. And
the irony 1s this is all a enacted by good loving people who are ignorant
and deceived. I, the “sinner,” will love them and accept their beliefs and
life choices but they, under your deception, will not offer me the same
and the familial relationships I have invested my life to build will be
seriously and irrevocably injured. This IS cult behavior.
One of the reasons I have to leave is because some of my children are
very logical and will not accept a church as true with these sorts of glaring
problems in their claims and they will leave. In this age, discovery of
these fact is unavoidable. Besides, I will not look them in the eyes and lie
to them. They will find out one day and they will leave. Then, I will be
faced with the same family divisions and violence in their relationships as
I must suffer in my own family. I believe in family!!! Iam leaving to be
free to fully love my neighbor, serve my God, seek and explore genuine
truth and preserve my family and create opportunities to be uplifted every
Sunday. It will harm every relationship I have and cost me most of them.
It will damage how I’m perceived, a reputation I have worked a lifetime
to build.
‘That is the cost of the cover-up—I mean promoting a faith promoting
history at the cost of truth. This is exactly the cost of lies. There
is no good lie. There is ALWAYS a price. Open your eyes and take
responsibility for the damage you are doing to people and families. Live
peacefully with others, start with your beliefs and words. Be responsible.
Stop blaming the voiceless. Demonstrate the character you espouse.
People know. You are on a collision course with disaster. You can’t keep
this hidden forever. Deception is not the answer.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 113
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 25 - 34
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $0 - $25,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Relief Society Presidency, Relief Society
President Gospel Doctrine Teacher
I grew up in an active LDS family in Ohio. I went to church happily every
Sunday. I had good friends at church and my ward was like a big extended
family. My parents always had high-profile callings in the ward and stake.
As a teenager, I served as the president of each of my Young Women
classes.
I always wanted to go to BYU and got a scholarship—and off I went. I
wanted to get a degree that was practical and that I enjoyed, so I chose
Broadcast Journalism. I managed to graduate without getting married and
then went to work at a news station in Salt Lake.
About six months after I graduated, I met my husband through a Mormon
singles website. He was 29, divorced with three kids, and lived in North
Carolina. I was 23. Marrying him was my first big deviation from the
“typical” Mormon script.
Because he was divorced and had been previously married in the temple,
we had to get a sealing clearance to be married in the temple. When it
was denied with no explanation, we were devastated. I had spent my
entire life dreaming of being married in the temple. To be told by the
prophet that we could not, even though we were worthy, was almost
incomprehensible.
‘This was the first HUGE crack in the foundation of my testimony. Before
then I had never seriously questioned the gospel or the church. Having
our request denied left me with two options: 1) God told the prophet that
we shouldn’t get married in the temple. 2) The decision was not inspired
but bureaucratic, based on some sort of criteria that we did not meet.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 114
I refused to believe that the God I knew would deny me a temple
marriage when we were worthy and willing. So that left me with option 2.
However it works, I don’t think it is inspired. Why should anything else be?
‘The next few years of our marriage went along, and I didn’t much
question my belief further. Then in 2010, a few months after having my
second baby, I had a major feminist awakening prompted by my passion
for birth rights.
With a new baby and a toddler, I spent most of my time at home and a lot
on the computer. I started applying these feminist thoughts to the church,
specifically the lack of female deity. A friend of mine sent me the play
written by Carol Lynn Pearson, “Mother Wove the Morning.” It opened
up my heart to realize all that had been lacking in only having a male god.
For the first time I SAW the patriarchy. I saw it and felt it and hated it.
I then discovered Carol Lynn Pearson’s Mormon Stories interview and
started devouring Mormon Stories podcasts. We spent the next year
involved in lots of online discussion and exploring lots of the issues with
the church. We found an entire community of people who were also
exploring and questioning and sometimes leaving the faith.
I also pretty quickly devolved into agnosticism. We continued to attend
church and fulfill our callings until we were released in the fall of 2011.
‘That fall, I also had what one could call a spiritual experience where I
felt the weight of all the pain that patriarchy has caused in the world. It
was heavy and thick and painful. From that moment forward my journey
became emotional instead of just intellectual. Church became painful
for me to sit through. I went a few more times in the winter of 2012, but
finally just gave myself permission to stop. Once I did, it was a weight
lifted. I felt peace. I have been so much happier by letting it go.
I no longer pray, read scriptures, or attend church. Nor do my children.
I am now in the process of rediscovering my spirituality outside the
confines of Mormonism.
I’ve lost a few old friends along the way. I’ve had people un-friend me on
Facebook. Luckily, my family has not treated me any differently. They
have been wonderful. In fact, three of my four siblings are also out of the
church now.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 115
ANONYMOUS FEMALE: AGE 18 - 24
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $100,001 - $150,000
EDUCATION LEVEL: Some College
MEMBER TYPE: Life-long member
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Young Women’s Presidency, Young Women’s
President, Gospel Doctrine Teacher
I was fully active, fully believing, raised by Cache Valley stalwart parents
in a very liberal college town in Pennsylvania. Very literal, by the book. I
always had questions, particularly regarding women. I believed faith and
science could coexist—I believed in evolution. In my first year at BYU,
I came into my own—I had a strong testimony and the gospel was the
foundation of my worldview.
I read liberal Mormon blogs (and was amazed by how they strengthened
my testimony) and eventually got into Mormon podcasts. Church
history interested me—some things seemed a bit off. I decided to make
a dedicated (literally: with some intimation that this was dangerous, I
opened with a prayer that my faith be preserved) effort to learn about
church history.
‘This did not go so well. I could not square what I’d been taught with
what the best scholarship seemed to show, and I could not ignore that
evidence—I’d been taught to pursue truth no matter the consequence!
All of the more current social issues then presented themselves to me,
without the defense of literal belief in truth claims: women. I knew I was
a feminist, but I finally let myself acknowledge the blatant inequalities in
the church. LGBT rights, lingering racism, lack of financial transparency,
tithing, unethical ways of teaching/persuading/baptizing—things that
sounds a lot like mind control to me.
I was devastated. I swung back and forth for a few months, so so so
confused and uprooted, now recommitting to stronger belief, then
daring to question just a little further than I ever had. Eventually, I
deconstructed back to God and religion. I neglected my schoolwork,
failed classes, and fell into a deep depression. I could not think about
Faith Crisis Profiles | 116
anything else. I was obsessed. I bawled at least once a day. I lost my
life’s meaning, purpose, and structure. I had no hope for humanity or the
world. I didn’t know how to live. I nearly transferred. I lost my Monson
Scholarship. I was grief-stricken.
My friends have been fairly accepting, though I feel we are not as close.
‘This grieves me. I’ve made friends with other somewhat-jaded BYU
students.
My parents and brother have been loving and accepting. My mom ended
up comforting me when I told her I didn’t believe in God. I didn’t begin
to heal until I knew that my family would still love me. Still, they worry,
and I resent that.
I feel comfortable claiming my Mormonism. I believe in God (most
days), though differently. My beliefs align more with what you could
call spiritual humanism. I am semi-active. Iam unsure about my future
level of activity. Going to church meetings still causes me moderate to
intense anxiety, and it’s super boring. So much of what we hear at church
I consider extraneous or harmful. I find little spiritual nourishment. I want
the Church to live out its potential. I love tea. I don’t care about the truth
claims, though those sparked my crisis. I’m not very into Jesus. I wish
we'd stop trying to be mainstream Christians and embrace some of our
earlier doctrines that have fallen out of favor—eternal progression and
building Zion really resonate with me.
My crisis was spurred by historical problems. Had the church presented a
more honest/nuanced/open/thoughtful view of its past, I may never have
had the concrete evidence my faith required to deconstruct fully.
I would have eventually run into women’s issues. If women/LGBT were
treated equally and history taught honestly, I would never have had a
violent break with the church. My theology might have drifted, but it
might have happened gradually within the church.
My faith will never be the same, and I wouldn’t want it to be. I have
rebuilt a lot of my worldview, and I consider that a part of my faith. I
have meaning and purpose again, after much therapy, writing, reading,
and crying. I’m better for having suffered this trauma. I believe ’'m a
little closer to truth. I find myself less judgmental. I care more about the
content of people’s hearts. Iam more empathetic. I am impassioned to
work for a better world.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 117
ANONYMOUS MALE: AGE 35 - 50
HOUSEHOLD INCOME: — $200,000+
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MEMBER TYPE: Convert of more than five years
PRIOR TO CRISIS: Full Tithe Payer, Regular Attendance at
Sacrament Service, Temple Recommend
Holder, Adherence to the Word of Wisdom
CALLINGS HELD: Young Men’s Presidency, Elder’s Quorum
Presidency, Elder’s Quorum President,
Bishopric Councilor
I was a fully committed absolute believer dedicated to trying to do
everything the church required. I justified all of my decisions based on
church position and authority. “The prophet says...,” was a reasonable
prefix to any statement even when it seemed unreasonable.
My wife expressed concern regarding early church history surrounding
Joseph Smith. I fearlessly suggested that we learn more about the man
and purchased No Man Knows My History and Rough Stone Rolling.
Upon reading Rough Stone Rolling, I became quite concerned and the
realization of the churches dishonesty came to light. As I read the book
again, I realized that not only had the church lied regarding many of the
churches restoration claims but that Joseph Smith was quite literally a
pedophile and a fraud.
I dug deep into historical research where I realized that the “prophet”
that spoke to God and could not lead us astray throughout history often
did lead the church astray often justifying all kinds of immoral, bigoted,
unjust, violent, and perverted behavior by their authority and the
revelations of God. I knew what these realizations meant and tried to hold
those feelings in and go through the motions, but to no avail. I realized
that going through the motions and not making waves meant joining the
church in covering up the damning evidence against the church in order
to enjoy the fantasy.
I realized that I valued truth over faith and honesty over the honor of my
church peers. After a year of no church attendance, I removed my name
from the records. I felt tricked and lied to. I felt used and when I came
Faith Crisis Profiles | 118
forward and was brave enough to address the evidence, I was chastised
for dragging my family out of the church. ‘The man who was the only
father I knew told me that I was not sincere in this process and that I
had entertained the desires of my heart in coming to my conclusions and
that he never wanted to speak of it again. He was furious that I would
accuse brother Joseph and bore his testimony. He would not hear my
“testimony.”
‘Then there was the conference where the church took an interesting
tactical approach to the literal truth claims and the problems of the church
where they blamed those who looked at the evidence and suggested
that faithful beware of such actions. They suggested that I had done
something wrong! I was a victim of lies and now they were justifying my
family and friends to label my sincere investigation as sin. My bitterness
towards the church authorities rose to their highest levels. They were so
afraid of losing their power, losing the literal authority they claim that
they will attack the injured to protect their interest. This was the pattern
set by Joseph when confronted with his immoral behavior and I hate it.
My fury and disgust towards the church is unmeasured by any other
event, organization, person, or thing in my life. The phrase, “faith crisis”
is only applicable when you are in the throws of realizing the lie. lam
in no way experiencing a crisis now. I have never been happier and felt
more genuine love and concern for my fellow man than what I feel right
now. When I left the church my boundaries for empathy were greatly
expanded. I no longer justified marginalizing anyone based on what the
prophet said or what God supposedly said. I now live by a very simple
code. Believe or practice religion how you please but if it violates the
golden rule then I not only reject your message/scripture/revelation as
incorrect, but add that it is harmful to society and will fight against it.
Political correctness be damned—I will not allow for anyone to defend
their bigotry, hatred, marginalization, or discrimination based on their
faith/belief. It is not a valid excuse.
For me to return, the church would need to openly and honestly repent
of their behavior. Admit the wrong, acknowledge the evidence and truth,
and admit that they are merely men and women doing their best with no
greater claim to divinity than any other well intention committed human
being on earth.
Faith Crisis Profiles | 119
12. How think ye? If a man have
an hundred sheep, and one of
them be gone astray, doth he not
leave the ninety and nine, and
goeth into the mountains, and
seeketh that which is gone astray?
13. And if so be that he find it,
verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth
more of that sheep, than of the
ninety and nine which went
not astray.
14. Even so it 1s not the will of
your Father which 1s in heaven,
that one of these little ones should
perish.
MATTHEW 18:12-14
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 122
OUR CHALLENGE
1. Faith Crisis is a viral challenge
affecting individuals, families and
ward communities worldwide.
2. Today, Faith Crisis is being
driven primarily by uncorrelated
content propagated by social
media.
3. The “Mormon Moment” will
continue the presentation of
uncorrelated information to our
membership.
4. Unless bold measures are taken
to treat those in Faith Crisis and
to mitigate the challenge for
future generations, significantly
more LDS families will become
impaired and the future success
of the Church will be put at risk.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 123
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF DISAFFECTION
1) Mitigating Faith Crisis for Future Generations
Mitigating Faith Crisis for future generations is possible but will require bold
steps. ‘The key is to ensure future generations no longer become shocked by
gaps between our official LDS narrative and our uncorrelated history.
2) Treating Those Currently in Faith Crisis
Addressing the pain and suffering of members currently in Faith Crisis—and
encouraging them to remain faithful and active—is the more difficult chal-
lenge. However, many of those in Faith Crisis are looking for reasons to stay.
Our challenge is to give them good reasons to stay. If we cannot, we risk losing
their participation.
The first and key point-of-recovery is when the active member shares con-
cerns with family, friends, and leaders. Instead of treating that person harshly,
our membership—and our leaders—must learn to treat him or her with empa-
thy, compassion, and unconditional love. These struggling members must be
embraced to make clear they are wanted and needed (doubts and all).
ty, May,
Active member hears
about troubling elements
of Church history, theology,
and culture from a
disaffected member.
Active member shares
concerns with family
and friends and is
treated harshly.
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1) Point-of-recovery for 2) Point-of-recovery for
future generations. those currently in
Faith Crisis.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 124
INSIGHTS &
POTENTIAL
STRATEGIES
‘There is no panacea to solve the Faith Crisis challenge—but several steps
can be taken to alleviate suffering and mitigate future loss-of-faith. The
following insights, strategies, and tactics are presented as suggestions for
how leaders may consider addressing the issue:
CLOSE THE HISTORY GAP
Insight
‘The gap between the history currently taught and factual history is—in
certain instances—highly differentiated..
Strategy
Inoculate current membership and future generations by closing the gap
between our historical narrative and factual history.
Possible Tactics
- Have a member of the First Presidency deliver a major address to all CES
leadership and staff that makes clear the urgent obligation of CES to teach
Church history openly and honestly (within a faith-based context).
- In an expeditious manner, update CES and other Church manuals and cur-
ricula to more accurately depict Church history. Collaborate with respected,
non-Church employed historians to add credibility.
- Openly publish official position papers on difficult historical / doctrinal
topics. If known answers are inconclusive, concede uncertainty and ad-
vance multiple ‘viable’ answers, including those that may be uncomfort-
able for the Church.
- Strategically identify difficult issues already being highlighted in the
Church’s Joseph Smith Papers.
- Place Church history back into the adult curriculum (Relief Society and
Priesthood) and provide members a framework for better understanding
complicated Church history.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 125
CONSOLE INDIVIDUALS IN FAITH CRISIS
Insight
Members in Faith Crisis feel condemned, betrayed, and abandoned by the
Church leaders and members.
Strategy
‘Train general leaders, local leaders, and the general membership how to ap-
propriately acknowledge and support our brothers and sisters in Faith Crisis.
Possible Tactics
- Via conference talks, outbound communication, and leadership training,
work to change the traditional narrative (that those who doubt are “sin-
ners and apostates”) to an approach of empathy, understanding, love, and
outreach.
- Encourage leaders to not exclude members from callings when they expe-
rience a Faith Crisis.
- Develop and provide local leaders with specific reference materials that in-
struct leaders on what to say, what not to say, and where to send struggling
members for additional support.
- Instead of encouraging Faith Crisis members to “stop thinking and stop
reading about the issues,” encourage members to thoroughly research the
troublesome issues. Consider providing a listing of third-party materials
which have been shown to help those in Faith Crisis reconcile difficult
issues (e.g. The God Who Weeps: How Mormonism Makes Sense of Life by Fiona
and ‘Terryl Givens).
- Publicly acknowledge leaders are *listening* to those with concerns.
- Acknowledge—and do not dismiss—the existence of challenging Faith
Crisis issues.
- Consider an outreach initiative in which general authorities meet with
disaffected members in compassion and love.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 126
SUPPORT FAMILIES IN FAITH CRISIS
Insight
Currently, a spouse in Faith Crisis often results in damaged or destroyed
marriages and traumatized families.
Strategy
Counsel families to stay together and support each other despite Faith
Crisis issues.
Possible Tactics
- Through conference talks and outbound communication, communicate
that Faith Crisis—in and of itself—is not a valid reason for divorce.
- Counsel those members in Faith Crisis to allow their believing spouse to
participate fully in Church (and not undermine the believing spouse’s faith).
- Create an online-based “Faith Crisis Hotline” in which believing and
Faith Crisis spouses and family members can call a professional specifically
trained in dealing with Faith Crisis issues.
PROVIDE PASTORAL COUNSEL TO DOUBTERS
Insight
Some members in Faith Crisis may lose their moral compass upon evapora-
tion of their beliefs.
Szrategy
Provide pastoral counsel to help those—regardless of their beliefs—retain
their LDS moral standards.
Possible Tactics
- Reinforce morality using wider traditions or using sound principles for
those who have lost faith.
- Provide guidance to non-believing members that allows them to construc-
tively interact with believing family and fellow members (e.g., what to do,
what not to do).
- Provide access to trained mental health professionals to alleviate anxiety
and to develop moral framework.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 127
PUT THOSE IN FAITH CRISIS TO WORK
Insight
- A significant number of Faith Crisis members wish to stay engaged in the
Church and contribute.
- Both faithful members and members with doubts are drawn to providing
Christlike service to our fellow men and women inside and outside our
LDS communities.
- Disaffected members indicate they are more likely to stay involved in
Church activity if the Church were to focus more on Christian service to
the non LDS world.
Strategy
Retain and re-activate by leveraging the Church’s infrastructure and re-
sources to put to work those Faith Crisis members willing to serve.
Possible Tactics
- Leverage Church resources to facilitate outward-facing compassionate
service projects and invite Faith Crisis members to assist in organizing and
participating. Consider having The Missionary Department lead this effort on a
global scale.
- Identify regional Faith Crisis leaders who can assist and strengthen
members experiencing a Faith Crisis.
- Create a “by invitation” Sunday School curriculum or ongoing Family
Home Evening support group aimed at ministering to members in crisis
(and their families.)
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 128
AN URGENT BUT
THOUGHTFUL
APPROACH
Although a daunting challenge, “le wrong approach would be to do nothing to
address the Faith Crisis epidemic. The longer we wait, the more difficult and
complex the challenge will likely become.
Urgency is needed. But it should also be acknowledged that there is a risk
in publicly recognizing that such Faith Crisis issues exist. Some saints who
might never know these faith-eroding issues may become vulnerable when
these issues are publicly examined. Some argue we should promote what
is called “faithful history,” that sanitizes the past and represses or covers
discrepancies between an arranged (constructed) historical narrative and
historical and scientific fact. While upsetting vulnerable members is a risk,
it can be ameliorated by presenting troubling issues in a careful, open, and,
even faithful context—that is, by demonstrating that a mature faith can
(and should) allow for error, mistakes, and the full range of human culpabil-
ity that results from agency. One could argue that such a healthy approach
diminishes dishonesty and hypocrisy and allows for individual saints to
face their own failings and imperfections with greater honesty and candor,
thereby producing greater emotional and spiritual health.
If the Brethren and the institutional Church can set the example that it is
possible to face troubling issues openly and honestly, it will enable mem-
bers, weak and strong, to do the same. The alternative is to continue to
pretend these issues do not exist and to be defensive about them, and thus
continue to lose some of the Church’s best, brightest and most spiritual
members.
‘That this problem is challenging does not mean it is unsolvable. There
are many—our team included—who are ready to help the Church design
and implement an approach for addressing this issue in a way that both
strengthens the Church and helps it fulfill its divine destiny.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 129
“The position is not assumed that the
men of the New Dispensation—its
prophets, apostles, presidencies,
and other leaders—are without
faults or infallible, rather they are
treated as men of like passions with
their fellow men...But while the
officers and members of the church
possess this spiritual “treasure,” they
carried it in earthen vessels; and
that earthliness, with their human
limitations, was plainly manifested
on many occasions and in various
ways, both in personal conduct and
in collective deportment. But back
of all that, and it should never be
lost sight of, is the supreme fact—
and it was a controlling element
in all their proceedings—that
they occupied such relation with
God that they were, on occasion,
moved upon to speak and act
as God would speak and act.
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 130
And when they spoke and acted
as prompted by the inspiration of
God, “en what they said and what
they did was the word and will of
God, and the power of God unto
salvation... [he only way such a
task [teaching LDS history] can be
accomplished, in the judgement
of this writer, 1s to frankly state
events as they occurred, in
full consideration of all related
circumstances, allowing the line of
condemnation or of justification to
fall where it may; being confident
that in the sum of things justice
will follow truth; and God will be
glorified in his work, no matter
what may befall individuals or
groups of individuals.”
ELDER B.H. ROBERTS A COMPREHENSIVE HISTORY OF THE CHURCH, CENTURY |
Summary & Potential Next Steps | 131
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